The Original Poster (OP) discovers her husband’s secret affairs and decides to embark on a long-term plan to make him pay for his betrayal. As the years go by, the tension between them reaches a boiling point which leaves both their lives forever changed.
The OP discovers her husband’s infidelity through a secret credit card bill, which includes hotel payments and other suspicious expenses. She investigates further and witnesses him bringing different men to the hotel. OP chooses not to confront him immediately and instead gives herself time to cool off and strategize.
The OP gets an STD test, which comes back negative, and convinces her husband to start using condoms. She decides not to confront him about his affairs, valuing the comfortable lifestyle he provides for her and their children. However, she resolves to make him feel guilty for the rest of his life.
The Slow Burn
The OP plans elaborate date nights and subtly brings up stories of cheating husbands and gay men in conversations. She praises their only openly gay friends, calling them “real men” who are “out and proud.” Her husband responds with guilt gifts, including flowers, every week.
Compartmentalizing Her Life
OP, having grown up with the concept of “free love,” considers herself in an open marriage and has no problem ignoring her husband’s infidelity. She remains satisfied with their life and sees no need to find another partner or have an affair.
The Side Piece
Her husband begins an exclusive relationship with another man, whom he introduces to the family as a new friend. The OP is furious but decides to continue keeping the secret when he brings the man into their home.
Her Husband’s Escalation
Her husband hints at moving to a state where it would be easier for him to come out. The OP refuses, citing her business and their children’s lives as reasons to stay put.
The Failed Arguments
Her husband tries to start arguments in hopes of provoking a divorce, but OP diffuses them by agreeing with him and offering a nice dinner and trips. She spies on his phone and discovers that he feels like he’s cheating on his boyfriend with her.
The Drinking Problem
The OP’s husband turns to alcohol as the pressure mounts. She decides to take action when his drinking becomes too heavy, as she doesn’t want that kind of environment for her children.
She Gathers Evidence
The OP gathers evidence of her husband’s infidelity and hires a divorce attorney. She sends the evidence to his employer, family, and church, knowing it would break his morality clause and bring shame upon him.
Her husband is fired, shunned by the community, church, and his family, and loses his reputation in town. His boyfriend is run out of town, and he can’t follow due to an impending custody battle.
OP becomes a free woman, retaining the house, car, and business. She gets full custody, child support, and a fair share of their assets, while her husband won’t be paying alimony.
Her husband moves six hours away for a new job, with a damaged relationship with his family and a ruined reputation. The love of his life leaves him for good, and his children only tolerate him.
The Honest Conversation
The OP explains to her children that their father being gay is okay, but hiding it from her is wrong. She shields them from the details of his infidelity and remains polite to him for the children’s sake.
OP admits she is not a hero in this story and acknowledges her actions were “messed up.” She shares her story online to finally tell someone, knowing she can’t do so in real life. Both OP and her husband emerge from their dysfunctional marriage scarred but wiser, providing a reminder that even in the face of betrayal, how we respond can have a lasting impact on ourselves and those around us.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses…
One responder wrote: “You were smart for yourself and your kids, all he had to do was not bring his cheating into your home, which is like the easiest thing in the world.”
Another reader wrote, “I personally completely understand what you did and why you did it. The other options that were available to you would be inferior for everyone involved. If he hadn’t gotten greedy and tried to move in with his affair partner, he would have had it all in the end.”
A Different Perspective
A different person states: “At first, I felt bad because of how difficult it can be for gay men in small-town communities (not to mention the South). Then he tried to literally gaslight OP into divorcing him. Whether that was for economic reasons or to hide that he wanted to move to come out, that was super s***.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
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Alex is a writer for Top Dollar Investor, focusing on lifestyle, travel, and business stories. Alex has started several online businesses and is a blogger who loves providing quality content to help others. He is passionate about affiliate marketing, finance, and cryptocurrency.