In a poignant tale of love lost and rediscovered, the Original Poster (OP) clings to memories of his first wife through the scent of a particular perfume. When he gifts the same fragrance to his current wife without revealing its significance, tensions rise as the secret unravels, pushing their relationship to the brink.
Fragments of the Past
OP reminisces about his first wife, who tragically passed away. Struggling with the loss, he finds solace in little things that remind him of her. One of these is her signature perfume, which keeps her scent alive for him.
The Widowers’ Rituals
OP knows he isn’t alone in clinging to memories – other widowers also maintain peculiar practices to cope with their grief. Years later, OP buys the same perfume as a gift for his current wife without disclosing its previous significance.
Friends and Family’s Observations
Friends and family of OP’s first wife notice the identical perfume on his current wife. They voice concerns about the healthiness of such a gesture, but OP disagrees, emphasizing the autonomy his current wife possesses.
OP emphasizes that his wives are distinct and that his intent isn’t to replicate his first wife. They are different in appearance and personality. He enjoys the scent of the perfume and finds comfort in its aroma.
After over a decade of marriage, the secret spills. OP’s former sister-in-law reveals to his wife about the perfume’s past. She thinks OP needs to move forward and live in the present. OP defends his actions.
OP doesn’t understand or agree with his former sister-in-law’s concerns. She acts like he is a crazy person, but he insists this is the only thing remotely unorthodox that he has ever done and feels like she is making this a big issue when it’s not.
A Strain in Trust
Upon learning the truth, OP’s wife becomes deeply upset that she had unknowingly been wearing his former wife’s scent. She questions his genuine attraction towards her, wondering whether it was just the scent that drew him in.
Voices of Dissent
OP’s wife feels betrayed by the undisclosed information. The revelation strains their relationship as she grapples with doubts and insecurities. Can she trust this man, or are there more secrets he has yet to disclose?
Family’s Silent Judgments
The wife’s family privately voices their disapproval of OP’s secret over the years and side with the new wife, feeling that OP acted inappropriately. Despite the challenges, OP insists on his love for his current wife and family and perceives the perfume as harmless.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
OP doesn’t think what he did was that bad. He didn’t tell her his first wife used to wear the same perfume, but he never forced his second wife to wear it and hasn’t tried to change her in any other way.
A Tussle of Perspectives
While the world deems OP’s actions as wrong, he is entrenched in his own justification. He believes he hasn’t harmed or manipulated anyone. Years of justifying his actions make it challenging for OP to view things objectively.
Reflecting on Actions
Doubt seeps in as OP contemplates the possibility that he might have been wrong all along. The overwhelming consensus forces him to introspect. As criticisms pile up, OP struggles with the thought that perhaps he was unknowingly the antagonist in this story.
With all the backlash from his wife and family, OP is considering returning to therapy. Perhaps he hasn’t moved on like he should and is still holding on to the past in an unhealthy manner. He debates making an appointment to discuss his concerns.
Was The Husband’s Behavior Appropriate?
Questioning his past choices, OP posts his story online for the opinions and feedback of the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “This isn’t fair on the living, breathing woman you are now married to, or on your deceased wife’s family, or ultimately on yourself.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “You deceived your wife, and, worse, you did it so she would remind you of your deceased first wife. There’s a reason that everyone – including your first wife’s family thinks you are wrong.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “Your only way out of this is going back to therapy, ASAP, because if you need a crutch like this, you are stuck still somewhere in the grief process and have been for far too long to be healthy.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “If you had been honest and said, my first wife wore this perfume, I love the smell and would appreciate it if you wore it too. MAYBE everything would be fine.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.