Unhappy multi-generation family watching soccer match on television

Sister-in-Law Assumes Twins Will Star in Wedding, Yet When Pets Take the Spotlight Instead of Her Children, She Uses Emotional Blackmail to Get Her Way.

In the midst of planning her wedding, the Original Poster (OP) finds herself at odds with her family’s traditions and expectations, sparking a compelling conflict over the roles of her pets versus her niece and nephew. As the emotional tension surges toward a climactic family meeting, the question remains: will a resolution be found?

A Family’s Painful Journey

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OP recounts the painful history of her brother and sister-in-law (SIL), who, after a series of miscarriages, were blessed with twins Ava and Liam through IVF. The entire family is incredibly attached to these twins, often showering them with attention and affection. Despite living across the country, OP is aware of this preferential treatment.

Embracing A New Chapter

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OP announces her upcoming wedding and the ensuing preparations, full of excitement and joy. She and her fiancé are deeply invested in planning this significant event. A significant detail arises regarding the roles of the flower girl and ring bearer in the ceremony.

The Unexpected Candidates

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OP introduces her beloved pets, Mika the dog and Tibby the cat, who’ve been with her through the darkest periods of her life. They’ve helped her through her deepest depression and kept her fiancé company during his chemotherapy. The couple’s love for Mika and Tibby is immense, viewing them as family members.

A Unique Proposal

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Given their bond with Mika and Tibby, OP proposes that they should assume the roles of the flower girl and ring bearer. She discusses this with her fiancé, who agrees with her plan. It’s decided – their pets will be part of their wedding ceremony.

A Family Reunion

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During a family gathering, OP mentions her unique plan casually. The family is immersed in their usual affection toward the twins. Amidst the jovial atmosphere, OP’s revelation leaves everyone stunned.

The Unspoken Expectation

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OP’s SIL confronts her later, questioning her about “giving Ava and Liam’s roles” to their pets. It becomes apparent that the SIL had assumed the twins would naturally take up these roles. This puts a new twist on OP’s wedding plans.

The Appeal to Tradition

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The SIL reasons that as “her miracle rainbow babies,” the twins should be the flower girl and ring bearer. She uses tradition and the family’s well-being as reasons, adding a layer of guilt. OP is caught off guard, wondering if she’s made a mistake.

The Emotional Manipulation

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The SIL further attempts to persuade OP by showing her a picture of Ava in a flower girl dress. This move is intended to sway OP through emotional appeal. But OP stands firm, promising to discuss this matter with her fiancé.

A Discussion with the Fiancé

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OP discusses the SIL’s proposition with her fiancé, who remains supportive. While he is open to having Ava and Liam in the roles, he confesses his preference for their animals. OP shares her fiancé’s sentiment but is torn.

Tradition vs. Personal Preference

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OP finds herself caught between adhering to tradition and following her heart. The potential for family conflict due to her unconventional decision weighs on her. She’s left wondering if including her pets in the wedding might offend her family.

The Quest for Second Opinions

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Unable to resolve her internal conflict, OP decides to seek external perspectives. She questions whether her choice to involve her pets in her wedding would be considered inappropriate. OP finds herself at a crossroads, awaiting guidance.

The Intensifying Conflict

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Just as OP seeks opinions, rumors start spreading in the family about the planned roles of Mika and Tibby. The family is divided, with some viewing OP’s decision as a deliberate slight against the twins. This exacerbates the conflict, putting further pressure on OP.

Unraveling Misunderstandings

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Realizing the increasing tension, OP decides to clarify her stance to the family. She explains the deep emotional bond she shares with Mika and Tibby. However, the family struggles to understand, and their reaction intensifies the conflict.

An Unforeseen Ultimatum

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The SIL, failing to empathize with OP’s perspective, issues an ultimatum. She warns that if the twins aren’t given their “rightful roles,” they won’t attend the wedding. OP is left shocked and upset by this sudden twist.

A Show of Support

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Despite the brewing storm, OP’s fiancé stands firmly by her side. He insists that their wedding should be a reflection of their values and mutual decisions. This act of unity further strengthens their bond.

Is The Couple’s Behavior Appropriate?

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The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responded

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One reader said, “Your niece and nephew might be the most important people to your SIL, but not to anyone else. She needs to realize that. You have no obligation to modify your wedding to accommodate her wishes, and if your family makes trouble about it, then you’ll know who your real family is. Rest easy, and give Mika and Tibby pets from me.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote: “Your SIL is trying to make her children the center of attention on YOUR wedding day.

You and your fiance get to choose who is part of the wedding party, and you both would prefer your pets due to all the happiness and positivity they’ve brought into both of your lives.”

A Third View On The Story

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A different person states, “Those kids are “their” miracle babies. Not yours. Your fur babies are your babies, so you do what you want.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another viewpoint on the story: “Also consider if your pets are going to enjoy that experience or if it will be stressful and annoying to them. If they’re going to like it, by all means, go ahead. That’s really the only question that matters.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

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