In an unexpected twist of friendship, the Original Poster (OP) finds herself caught in a financial and emotional storm, stirred by a college pact to fund each other’s weddings. Tensions escalate when her refusal to contribute to a close friend’s wedding due to financial constraints triggers accusations of selfishness and threats of public exposure. As the climax nears, the OP stands on the precipice of a major fallout, leaving readers anticipating an unpredictable resolution.
A Pact in College
In college, OP’s friend group promises one another to contribute to each other’s weddings. At the time, they all imagined they would find good-paying jobs right out of the gate. Unfortunately, life does not always work that way.
The Engaged Friend
Now one of the friends from the pact is getting married. Despite being aware of OP’s financial constraints, this friend expects help with the wedding costs along with the rest of the group who pledged to do so.
OP’s friend struggles financially and decides to ask guests to contribute to a specific part of the ceremony instead of buying a wedding gift. Some guests are assigned to purchase tabletop décor, others to contribute to the flower budget, and others to pay for the rings and officiant.
Strapped for Cash
OP likes the idea of the specific ceremony contributions and finds it clever. She takes note of the arrangement and decides to pocket that idea for a future wedding. All the same, she doesn’t think it’s a good financial move to help with the wedding at this time.
A Tight Budget
OP feels unable to contribute due to her current financial situation as a soon-to-be doctoral candidate and an author working on a memoir. Her monthly stipend barely allows for anything beyond the necessities.
Upon explaining her financial situation, OP is met with continued insistence from their friend to contribute even a small amount. The friend believes that OP could contribute less than the others, even $20, but OP stands her ground, further straining the friendship.
The Push Back
OP explains that if she were in a better financial status, she would be happy to contribute, but in her current situation, it is simply not possible now. She can’t just make cash appear out of nowhere and is unwilling to go into debt for her friend’s wedding.
Betrayal and Accusation
The friend accuses OP of selfishness and reminds her that she had contributed $500 to her own wedding, which ended only a few months after it started. This past contribution becomes a point of contention and a reason for her to expect help from OP.
The Frustrated Fiancée
The bride-to-be is now frustrated with her stubborn friend, who can’t even be bothered to buy her lunch. Surely, she has a spare $20 bill that she can donate? Is there friendship worth so little to OP that she can’t reciprocate even a tiny fraction of her friend’s contribution?
Threat of Exposure
The friend threatens to disclose OP’s refusal to their mutual friend group, which would devastate her. OP is afraid of her private financial struggles becoming public. Plus, she doesn’t want to lose her close friends over this dispute.
The Well-Off Fiancé
OP does not understand why her friend is strapped for cash and continues to harass her about contributing when she knows that the fiancé has a good-paying job and wealthy friends. Couldn’t she ask them to help contribute instead?
Bound by Obligation
OP’s participation in the wedding is non-negotiable, as her friend’s fiancé has already purchased her plane ticket. This obligation to attend, despite financial limitations, adds another layer to the conflict.
The Returned Gift
In the past, OP returned the wedding gift her friend gave her, and now she cannot afford a gift for the same friend’s wedding. OP asserts that her presence at the wedding is the gift, although this comment is met with laughter.
With the wedding looming, OP considers if she should go at all. What kind of reception would she receive from the bride and their mutual friends? Would they shun her for managing her tight budget?
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP takes her dilemma online, asking the community for their perspective and advice. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Why she’s asking you is because she contributed over $500 to your wedding, and now that it’s your turn to chip in, you don’t want to give her a red cent.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “It doesn’t matter that your marriage didn’t last. You still kept your friend group to their word, and they all stepped and honored that agreement, but now that you have gotten what you wanted out of it, you can’t even find a small amount to keep a promise you made.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “I do understand your financial situation. However, returning a favor is what a good friend should do. She seems to be understanding, asking for just a little bit.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader replied, “You made this promise years ago, and you’re backing out now after you benefitted from it. She helped pay for your wedding. It’s money instead of wedding gifts, which isn’t a crazy ask, and she’s asking for $20.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.