bride upset on wedding day

Couple Receives Generous Wedding Gift, But Their Refusal to Conform to Traditional Roles Sparks a Family Feud.

When the Original Poster (OP) and their fiancee received unexpected wedding funds from their parents, conflict arose over the strings attached. As emotions reached a boiling point, the couple made a bold decision that left everyone questioning their actions.

The Simple Wedding Plan

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OP and their fiancee plan a small, intimate wedding with a guest list of 11 people. They want to wear their own clothes from when they first met. Their mutual best friend is helping design custom rings for them.

The Unexpected Wedding Gift

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Both sets of parents unexpectedly transfer $10,000 each to the couple. They did not request this money but accepted it graciously and decided to put it into their retirement accounts.

MIL’s Dress Dilemma

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Despite their clear preferences, the OP’s future mother-in-law insists that both OP and their fiancee should wear wedding dresses (both women). The MIL spends two weeks trying to convince them to change their minds.

Parents and the Guest List

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OP’s parents start nagging about the guest list, attempting to expand it with unfamiliar relatives. The couple maintains their desire for a small and intimate wedding.

The Lunchtime Revelation

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During a lunch meeting, both sets of parents revealed that the money they gave was meant for specific purposes: the in-laws for dresses and OP’s parents’ for an expanded guest list. This was not what the couple intended.

The Couple’s Decision

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OP and their fiancee discuss the situation and agree that the money isn’t worth the strings attached. They decide to transfer the money back to their parents.

Returning the Money

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The couple returns to the table, informing their parents that they have transferred the money back. They refuse to let the money dictate their wedding plans.

The Emotional Outburst

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Both mothers are upset, and one of the fathers becomes angry at the couple’s decision. The parents claim the money was meant for the couple’s benefit.

Standing Firm on Wedding Plans

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The OP and her partner reiterate that they have made their decisions about the wedding and will not accept any strings-attached gifts. They insist on their right to make their own choices.

Accusations of Unfairness

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The parents argue that the couple is being unfair by not giving them a say in the wedding plans. In response, the couple thanks them for the meal and leaves.

Sibling Backlash

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The couple receives messages from their siblings accusing them of being rude to their parents. They claim the couple overreacted to their parents’ generosity.

Second Thoughts

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The couple starts to doubt their actions, wondering if they went too far in their response to deny their parents’ demands. They seek reassurance about their decision.

The Wedding Philosophy

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The couple believes in a simple, intimate wedding that reflects their own preferences. They are determined to maintain control over their special day.

A Question of Boundaries

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Despite their parents’ good intentions, the couple struggles with the conditions placed on the money. They are unwilling to compromise their values for financial support. The couple grapples with the consequences of their actions and seeks insight into whether their response was justified.

Was The Couple’s Behavior Appropriate?

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The readers in the online forum had a lot of mixed views of the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responded

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One reader said, “I think that was a very respectful and mature way to handle it. Especially considering they said it “was a wedding gift,” then changed the tune to, “No, it’s to buy the things we’re telling you that you have to get.”

Different Perspective

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Another responder wrote: “I don‘t understand how they think they get a say in YOUR wedding. You did the right thing and should stick to your plans.”

Another Viewpoint

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A different person states, “You guys rock, you handled it as a team.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

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