Trans Man Found Solace in His Role as a Nanny, But When His Employer Unexpectantly Uncovers His Past, She Delivers a Harsh Response and Dismissal.

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In a heart-rending account of trust and betrayal, the Original Poster (OP) delves into their life as a fully transitioned male and their role as a nanny. When a seemingly innocuous encounter with a mother from OP’s past unravels an unexpected revelation on social media, the warmth of a cherished professional relationship swiftly transforms into a chilling confrontation.

A New Identity

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OP shares their experience of having fully medically transitioned, including undergoing top surgery and taking testosterone for almost seven years. They express how they now fully pass as a male, which has been crucial for their identity.

Struggles of the Past

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OP recounts their challenging experiences in school, struggling with mental health and falling behind in their academic pursuits. These setbacks make college a distant dream for OP as they try to get themself into a healthy place.

A Brave Decision

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Instead of settling for community college, OP uses their hard-earned savings to undergo a full medical transition. This brave choice makes them feel genuinely content with their body for the first time.

A New Path

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With funds running low and a passion for children, OP decides to start babysitting. This choice ensures a source of income and provides them with joy and fulfillment. OP finds young children to be kind and enjoyable, untainted by society’s expectations.

The First Client

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OP meets Lily, a single mother who lost her husband early in her pregnancy. Lily’s child, Ryan, is exceptionally hyperactive, and the duo faces their challenges together, providing him with various activities.

A Lifesaver for Lily

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Upon returning home one night to find a peacefully sleeping Ryan after a full day of adventure, Lily feels immense gratitude towards OP. This moment becomes a pivotal reason for OP’s employment as Ryan’s full-time nanny.

Guiding Lily

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As Ryan’s nanny, OP guides Lily in handling Ryan’s daily activities, making mundane tasks enjoyable and engaging for the young boy. Their relationship deepens as they navigate the nuances of childcare together.

Unexpected Praise

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Lily often praises OP, calling out their exemplary qualities. However, her remarks on OP’s motherly instincts sometimes come off as insensitive, making OP slightly uncomfortable.

A Motherly Visit

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OP’s mother visits town, and they decide to spend quality time with her, strolling through a local farmers market. While at the farmers market, OP and their mother run into Ryan and Lily. Despite their day off, OP greets the two warmly and introduces them to their mother.

Social Media Connect

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The mothers hit it off, leading OP’s mom to suggest connecting with Lily on Facebook. Unbeknownst to OP, this simple gesture is about to stir up a storm. Lily discovers a Facebook post about OP’s transition, shared by their mother.

A Harsh Confrontation

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Unprepared for this revelation and feeling deceived, Lily’s reaction takes a severe turn. She confronts OP with hostility as she directs slurs and accusations at them, expressing her disappointment and revealing her transphobic mindset.

The Real Reason

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Lily admits to having hired OP primarily for being a man, hoping to provide Ryan with a fatherly figure. Her accusations suggest she feels betrayed by not knowing OP’s past and original gender identity.

Emotional Turmoil

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Devastated, OP grapples with the harsh reality that Lily, whom they consider a close friend, harbors such prejudices. They feel cut off and isolated, blocked from any form of contact. OP wonders whether they should have disclosed their transgender identity to Lily.

Concern for Ryan

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While OP understands they aren’t responsible for Lily’s beliefs, they feel a sense of guilt and struggle with the balance between personal privacy and the potential consequences of their silence. The realization that Ryan is growing up with a transphobic mother deeply troubles OP.

Was The Nanny’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP posts their story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “It’s none of her business, or anyone’s except yours and anyone you may choose to share it with.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “Unless there is any sexual relationship involved, you don’t have to tell anyone anything.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “Why does this woman need to know about your genitals? Why does she need to know about your gametes? It’s insane for anyone to believe they aren’t entitled to know this about anyone else.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “You do not have to disclose to anyone that you don’t want to. It has no bearing on your ability to do your job. No one has the right to demand it of you.”