“How Can I Be a Gold Digger When I Make Twice Your Salary?”: Her Boyfriend’s Friends Make Unfounded Assumptions
When the Original Poster (OP), a high-earning mechanical engineer, attends a party with her programmer boyfriend, she endures ill-founded, misogynistic assumptions about her being a gold-digger. The OP confronts these accusations, revealing her true financial standing and sparking a heated conflict with her boyfriend.
The Dynamic Duo
OP and her boyfriend both work in tech, but she earns significantly more than him as a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup. Meanwhile, he holds a steady programming job at a large, established company. The difference in their incomes doesn’t appear to affect their relationship, with her making $140K and him making $75K per year.
The Party Introduction
OP’s boyfriend takes her to a party where she meets his friends, most of whom also work in tech. They talk mainly about their jobs and ask OP about hers, but she prefers to share her hobbies instead. She speaks passionately about hiking, archery, camping, and riding dirt bikes.
Evading Professional Talk
When asked about her work, OP deftly deflects, “Oh gosh, I don’t want to talk about work at a party! I spent my whole day sweating my a** off in 95-degree heat trying to replace this busted ass motor just to find the replacement part.” She isn’t hiding her lucrative career; she genuinely doesn’t define herself by it.
Throughout the evening, the OP’s stories regarding used car dealerships and helping her neighbor whose trailer caught on fire paint her as less affluent. She isn’t trying to mislead anyone—she’s humoring herself instead of talking about work.
Hurtful Jokes and Silence
As the night progresses, some of the less close friends begin to make crude jokes, suggesting that OP is a gold-digger from a poor background, ready to jump to a wealthier man. They are completely ignorant about her real financial status. Adding insult to injury, her boyfriend says nothing in her defense.
The Unspoken Reason
After the party, OP’s boyfriend explains that he remained quiet because he was drinking and had trouble keeping up with the conversation. This doesn’t ease OP’s hurt feelings, and she is left feeling disappointed and frustrated by his lack of support.
Angered by a friend’s loud comment, OP finally retorts to a comment, “Now, why the hell would you say that when I make twice what he does?” The boyfriend’s friend who made the comment fell silent. She continues, “There ain’t no gold to dig here, not with him or anyone at this party. So do y’all think I’m cheap, or do y’all think I’m stupid?”
The Immediate Aftermath
The revelation of her comprehension shocks the partygoers. Her boyfriend is visibly upset and wants to leave the party, but OP remains unapologetic. She points out that she wouldn’t have spoken up if he’d defended her himself.
Back at home, her boyfriend accuses her of humiliation and causing everyone to think she’s arrogant. Unfazed, OP retorts, “At least they know I’m a rich b****.” The fight reveals deep-seated tensions within their relationship.
Both OP and her boyfriend are angry for different reasons—she’s upset because she had to defend herself against his friends, while he’s upset because he feels she embarrassed him. Their home is filled with tension and unresolved issues, leading to an uneasy stalemate.
Reflecting on the Incident
OP reflects on the incident, questioning whether her actions were justified. She feels that her boyfriend should have checked his friends’ disrespectful behavior, thus preventing the entire confrontation. The incident has opened Pandora’s box of doubts about their relationship.
OP turns to the internet, asking if she is wrong. She’s seeking external perspectives on the incident, still convinced that her actions were justified. Her questions seem to underscore the growing tension and miscommunication between the OP and her boyfriend.
The Fundamental Differences
Through this ordeal, fundamental differences between OP and her boyfriend come to light. He values societal norms and is embarrassed by their financial disparity being made public. In contrast, OP values transparency and refuses to tolerate disrespectful behavior, irrespective of the source.
Standoff and Self-Reflection
The standoff persists, with both parties holding on to their anger and hurt. OP is frustrated by her boyfriend’s inability to defend her, while he is upset over what he perceives as her insensitivity to his feelings. Their relationship hangs in the balance as they each reconsider their expectations and compatibility.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Another responder wrote: “His friends sound like those dudes that whine that they can’t get gfs, think they deserve supermodels, but then are complete misogynists.”
A different person states, “I’d love to know what area you live in where you, your BF, and his social circle all work in tech, and $68k is considered “gold digger” territory.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by this thread.
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Alex is a writer for Top Dollar Investor, focusing on lifestyle, travel, and business stories. Alex has started several online businesses and is a blogger who loves providing quality content to help others. He is passionate about affiliate marketing, finance, and cryptocurrency.