couple stern together

Woman Accused of Being a Gold-Digger by Boyfriend’s Friends, But Her Counter-Strike Reveals a Hidden Truth.

When the Original Poster (OP), a high-earning mechanical engineer, attends a party with her programmer boyfriend, she endures ill-founded, misogynistic assumptions about her being a gold-digger. The OP confronts these accusations, revealing her true financial standing and sparking a heated conflict with her boyfriend.

The Dynamic Duo

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OP and her boyfriend both work in tech, but she earns significantly more than him as a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup. Meanwhile, he holds a steady programming job at a large, established company. The difference in their incomes doesn’t appear to affect their relationship, with her making $140K and him making $75K per year.

The Party Introduction

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OP’s boyfriend takes her to a party where she meets his friends, most of whom also work in tech. They talk mainly about their jobs and ask OP about hers, but she prefers to share her hobbies instead. She speaks passionately about hiking, archery, camping, and riding dirt bikes.

Evading Professional Talk

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When asked about her work, OP deftly deflects, “Oh gosh, I don’t want to talk about work at a party! I spent my whole day sweating my a** off in 95-degree heat trying to replace this busted ass motor just to find the replacement part.” She isn’t hiding her lucrative career; she genuinely doesn’t define herself by it.

Unintended Impressions

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Throughout the evening, the OP’s stories regarding used car dealerships and helping her neighbor whose trailer caught on fire paint her as less affluent. She isn’t trying to mislead anyone—she’s humoring herself instead of talking about work.

Hurtful Jokes and Silence

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As the night progresses, some of the less close friends begin to make crude jokes, suggesting that OP is a gold-digger from a poor background, ready to jump to a wealthier man. They are completely ignorant about her real financial status. Adding insult to injury, her boyfriend says nothing in her defense.

The Unspoken Reason

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After the party, OP’s boyfriend explains that he remained quiet because he was drinking and had trouble keeping up with the conversation. This doesn’t ease OP’s hurt feelings, and she is left feeling disappointed and frustrated by his lack of support.

The Counter-Strike

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Angered by a friend’s loud comment, OP finally retorts to a comment, “Now, why the hell would you say that when I make twice what he does?” The boyfriend’s friend who made the comment fell silent. She continues, “There ain’t no gold to dig here, not with him or anyone at this party. So do y’all think I’m cheap, or do y’all think I’m stupid?”

The Immediate Aftermath

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The revelation of her comprehension shocks the partygoers. Her boyfriend is visibly upset and wants to leave the party, but OP remains unapologetic. She points out that she wouldn’t have spoken up if he’d defended her himself.

The Accusation

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Back at home, her boyfriend accuses her of humiliation and causing everyone to think she’s arrogant. Unfazed, OP retorts, “At least they know I’m a rich b****.” The fight reveals deep-seated tensions within their relationship.

The Fallout

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Both OP and her boyfriend are angry for different reasons—she’s upset because she had to defend herself against his friends, while he’s upset because he feels she embarrassed him. Their home is filled with tension and unresolved issues, leading to an uneasy stalemate.

Reflecting on the Incident

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OP reflects on the incident, questioning whether her actions were justified. She feels that her boyfriend should have checked his friends’ disrespectful behavior, thus preventing the entire confrontation. The incident has opened Pandora’s box of doubts about their relationship.

Seeking Validation

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image credit: dean-drobot/shutterstock

OP turns to the internet, asking if she is wrong. She’s seeking external perspectives on the incident, still convinced that her actions were justified. Her questions seem to underscore the growing tension and miscommunication between the OP and her boyfriend.

The Fundamental Differences

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Through this ordeal, fundamental differences between OP and her boyfriend come to light. He values societal norms and is embarrassed by their financial disparity being made public. In contrast, OP values transparency and refuses to tolerate disrespectful behavior, irrespective of the source.

Standoff and Self-Reflection

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The standoff persists, with both parties holding on to their anger and hurt. OP is frustrated by her boyfriend’s inability to defend her, while he is upset over what he perceives as her insensitivity to his feelings. Their relationship hangs in the balance as they each reconsider their expectations and compatibility.

Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?

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The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responded

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One reader said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Another Viewpoint

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Another responder wrote: “His friends sound like those dudes that whine that they can’t get gfs, think they deserve supermodels, but then are complete misogynists.”

A Different Perspective

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A different person states, “I’d love to know what area you live in where you, your BF, and his social circle all work in tech, and $68k is considered “gold digger” territory.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

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Josh Dudick

Josh is a financial expert with over 15 years of experience on Wall Street as a senior market strategist and trader. His career has spanned from working on the New York Stock Exchange floor to investment management and portfolio trading at Citibank, Chicago Trading Company, and Flow Traders.

Josh graduated from Cornell University with a degree from the Dyson School of Applied Economics & Management at the SC Johnson College of Business. He has held multiple professional licenses during his career, including FINRA Series 3, 7, 24, 55, Nasdaq OMX, Xetra & Eurex (German), and SIX (Swiss) trading licenses. Josh served as a senior trader and strategist, business partner, and head of futures in his former roles on Wall Street.

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