When the Original Poster (OP) stumbles upon her husband’s secret – a hidden stash of $10,000 he claimed he didn’t have – their seemingly stable relationship takes a disturbing turn. The tension escalates as he continues to lie, leading to heated confrontations and culminating in a dramatic separation. But with a baby on the way, the OP grapples with whether the deceit justifies the drastic step she’s taken, leaving us wondering what the future holds for their fractured relationship.
OP and her husband live paycheck to paycheck. Since getting married four years ago, they decided to separate their finances but often split things or take turns paying. This was their normal routine until her husband’s work accident caused him to take time off work.
OP discovers her husband has been hiding a $10k insurance payout from her, even though she has been paying for all their expenses due to his supposed lack of money. He collected a bit of disability, contributing that to their household but never divulging the windfall of money.
The Strain of Generosity
Despite the financial strain, OP has been trying to make ends meet and even offered to pay for her husband’s recent broken windshield. Throughout this time, her husband has been acting helpless, allowing OP to bear the bulk of their financial burden alone.
After OP discovers a letter detailing the $10k payout, she wonders why her husband hasn’t mentioned this money to her. She probes by asking her husband to lend her $20; he becomes noticeably nervous. His behavior strikes her as odd, leading her to question if he’s hiding something from her.
As OP probes further into her husband’s strange behavior, he denies any hidden agendas and accuses OP of being paranoid and untrusting.
In a moment of theatrical surprise, the husband checks his bank account in front of OP, expressing shock at the unexpected “extra money.” His act of ignorance fuels OP’s suspicion further.
A Plea for Honesty
OP confronts her husband about his deceit, asserting that she doesn’t care about the money but is deeply hurt by his dishonesty and secretive behavior.
After a day-long argument, the husband confesses that he was hiding the money from OP out of fear that she might ask for some if she knew about it. His guilt emerges as he acknowledges seeing their household struggle financially.
Overwhelmed by her husband’s deception, OP asks him to leave their home. She labels him as cruel and deceitful, expressing her unwillingness to live with someone capable of such blatant lies.
OP, six months pregnant and facing the future of parenting alone, questions her decision to part ways with her husband over his deceit, her anguish amplified by her delicate condition.
The revelation of her husband’s lie leaves OP questioning the integrity of their entire relationship. She begins to speculate about other possible deceptions, including the real nature of his gym sessions and time spent outside the home.
OP seeks advice from others regarding her situation. This helps her assess her circumstances from an objective perspective.
Following the advice she received, OP allows her husband to return home. However, he is confined to the guest room, emphasizing the persistent tension between them.
Her husband returns bearing a new baby car seat, a gesture that OP perceives as an act of guilt. His frequent apologies seem to echo the same sentiment.
Acknowledging the cracks in their relationship, the couple decides to embark on marriage counseling. It’s a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak situation.
Resurgence of Doubt
Despite agreeing to counseling, OP’s trust in her husband remains fractured. She continues to question his intentions and their future together. As their counseling sessions proceed, a mix of regret, guilt, hurt, and betrayal continues to swirl in OP’s mind. She struggles to find closure and forgiveness.
Despite their attempts at reconciliation, the future of OP’s relationship with her husband remains uncertain. The seed of doubt has been sown, casting a shadow over their shared future.
A Fragile Hope
Amid the turmoil, OP clings to the fragile hope of rebuilding their shattered trust. The journey of healing promises to be a long one, but it’s a path she is willing to take for the sake of their soon-to-be-born child.
Was The Couple’s Behavior Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Yeah, he didn’t ‘feel bad’; he just didn’t care at all. He would rather keep the money for himself and see his wife and the mother of his child struggle. This likely isn’t the first time he’s done it, and he will absolutely do this again. Or, at the very least, continue to choose himself before his child and wife.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “I’m so lost here. Why are they still separate on everything? Why does she say, ‘I paid for this, and I paid for that?’ It seems like keeping things separate like that can only lead to resentment and dishonesty. What do they both have to hide from each other that they won’t have a joint bank account?”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “I would leave him and start the child custody proceedings now. If he is willing to hide money from his pregnant wife, what will happen when your child actually needs something like surgery or some other medical need.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “Financial abuse is a real problem in couples. I’m not denying it is absolutely a form of abuse. That said, the fact that his initial response was to lie and gaslight instead of admitting his mistake is really troubling. And even when caught out, he still played the victim and minimized it when there were consequences. That is even more troubling than the initial bad behavior.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a Reddit thread.