College Aged Male Comes Out a Gay, But When His Homophobic Grandmother Pulls Back His School Funding He Must Resort to a More Creative Solution.

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In a family drama that unfolds against the backdrop of prejudice and financial distress, the son of the Original Poster (OP) is outed as gay to his intolerant grandmother, who promptly withdraws her promised college funding. The son pleads with his parents to use their meager savings, earmarked for urgent home renovations, to fund his education, leading to a heart-wrenching conflict. As the family grapples with this sudden financial predicament and the betrayal that brought it on, they teeter on the precipice of an uncertain future.

A Revelation

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OP’s son, 19, bravely comes out as gay to his atheist parents, who support him wholeheartedly. However, they worry about the boy’s deeply Catholic and homophobic grandmother, who has promised to finance her grandchildren’s education. As a condition, she insists they attend a private Christian or Catholic school, a demand OP reluctantly acquiesces to.

A Forced Decision

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OP’s son enrolls in a Christian college in another state, intending to finish his course in three years thanks to AP credits from high school. His first two years of college are fully financed by his grandmother, leaving OP and her husband somewhat relieved. However, the weight of the secret he carries and the potential fallout lingers in their minds.

The Unfortunate Outing

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During a family gathering, the son confides in a cousin about a boy he’s been talking to in college, hoping for support. This trust is betrayed when the cousin outs him to the whole family, including the bigoted grandmother. The family’s rift deepens, with disastrous consequences about to unfold.

The Consequences of Truth

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Outraged by her grandson’s sexual orientation, the wealthy grandmother withdraws her financial support for his education. OP and her husband are left in a precarious position, unable to afford their son’s expensive tuition. Their plans for their other children’s education suddenly seem uncertain.

The Son’s Appeal

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Heartbroken and betrayed, the son pleads with his parents to finance his last year of education. OP and her husband, however, have only $25,000 in savings earmarked for urgent kitchen renovations. As their household appliances are on the brink of collapse, their financial dilemma deepens.

The Argument

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A family argument ensues, with the son accusing his parents of prioritizing a kitchen remodel over his education. OP and her husband attempt to explain the desperate state of their kitchen and the fact that their savings wouldn’t even cover his tuition. However, the son remains unconvinced.

A Crucial Clarification

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OP provides an important detail, clarifying that the $25,000 for kitchen renovations isn’t just for aesthetics. The money is allocated for crucial infrastructure repairs in their high-cost living area.

A Necessary Sacrifice

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Acknowledging the gravity of the situation, the son agrees to take out student loans to finance his final year. The decision feels harsh, but he understands the financial realities his parents face. However, this understanding doesn’t completely erase his bitterness.

Silent Tensions

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In the midst of their financial struggles, OP and her husband hold onto their strained relationship with the wealthy grandmother for the sake of their other children. They hope to secure the promised college funding for them before severing ties.

The Burden of Debt

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As the son prepares to take on the hefty student loans, he faces the harsh reality of graduating with significant debt. The financial burden he’s about to shoulder is a constant reminder of his grandmother’s intolerance and his cousin’s betrayal.

The Lingering Resentment

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OP’s son harbors resentment towards his parents for not using their savings to support him. Despite understanding their financial difficulties, he can’t help but feel marginalized. His relationship with OP and her husband takes on a strained note, adding to the already fraught household dynamic.

The Silent Standoff

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OP’s relationship with her mother-in-law turns icy in the aftermath of the revelation. They maintain minimal contact, only to ensure the educational futures of OP’s other two children. The resentment and animosity in the family reach an all-time high.

The Uncomfortable Acceptance

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Despite the harsh circumstances, the family begins to accept the reality of their situation. While OP and her husband start their kitchen renovations, the son takes on student loans and debt, leaving the younger siblings to wonder about their own educational futures.

Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP considers if there was another course of action that would have better suited her family’s needs. She posts her story to an online forum. Here are some of the responses from the community:

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “In truth, the problem is your bigoted MIL, not you or your son. However, you just cannot give your son what you cannot afford. He will simply have to take out a student loan, but maybe he could transfer his credits to a state college which would probably be less expensive.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “I don’t think paying for your kid’s higher education is an obligation. It’s nice if parents are wealthy enough to do so, but he’s an adult now.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “You were all willing to compromise his identity and honesty to get grandmother’s money. He received two years of college tuition for the deceit.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “Go ahead and do your renovations, he knew the terms of the agreement, and he chose to talk about his relationship instead of keeping quiet. A year’s worth of loans won’t kill him.”