Amid a soaring rental market, the Original Poster (OP) faces a moral and emotional quandary when her adult daughter, battling financial constraints, seeks to return home. As rental prices skyrocket, the daughter’s precarious housing situation grows more complicated, driving a wedge between mother and child. Will family bonds triumph over financial principles?
A New Beginning
OP’s oldest daughter, aged 25, decided to move out with her boyfriend of four years. They found an apartment where they could start their life together. Both OP and her husband supported her choice, as she was financially independent.
The regional housing market experienced an unexpected surge. In a span of just three months, their landlord imposed a staggering 40% hike in their rent. He was generally unresponsive unless it came time to collect money.
Affordable Housing Crisis
The increase was too much for the young couple to bear. They tried to negotiate with the landlord for an incremental increase each month, leading to the full 40% after one year, but he was not willing to compromise.
Even before the unexpected rent hike, the couple wasn’t flourishing financially, being young, inexperienced, and saddled with student debt. The couple’s salaries had not caught up with the increase in the cost of living in their area.
The Housing Market
With the current housing market, affording a new place seemed like an unattainable dream. The couple was stunned by the many demands on their income and stressed about how to manage it all. They both were looking for ways to make extra money on the side through tutoring and Uber driving.
The daughter and her boyfriend had a minuscule budget and considered apartments that were further away from their jobs, but the transportation costs outweighed any savings in rent. The only housing options where they could stay together were in a dangerous part of town.
The Initial Plan
The daughter’s boyfriend’s parents refused to let her stay with them, so the couple presented a split-living proposal to OP: She would stay with OP, and her boyfriend would move in with his parents. This separation would be brief, aimed at saving money for future cohabitation.
Dilemma at Home
OP and her husband wrestled with the proposal. The idea of their adult daughter moving back home didn’t sit well with them. They believed she should fend for herself and not rely on handouts from her parents.
Seeing her determination, OP said she’d have to pay the market’s average rent for a tenant plus her share of utilities. Paying such a high rent to her parents wouldn’t allow her to save like she’d hoped.
Just Another Landlord
Reluctantly, OP’s daughter decided against moving back home. She was hoping for a safe haven and instead found another difficult landlord trying to overcharge her for what should be affordable accommodations.
A Tough Reality
With limited options, OP’s daughter found a shared living situation with six other people in an overcrowded two-bedroom apartment. Some of the renters seemed suspicious and untrustworthy. Yet, in these dire times, she had to make do with the situation.
The decisions made and paths taken had repercussions. The once-close relationship between OP and her daughter started showing signs of strain. As days turned into weeks, the frequency of their conversations dwindled, reduced to sporadic interactions.
OP was concerned and began to wonder about the lasting impact of her choices on their mother-daughter bond. While she felt sympathetic towards her daughter’s challenges, OP still believed in personal responsibility and hoped her daughter would find her way.
Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback and advice from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “She will never forget that you weren’t there for her in a time of need. For crying out loud, she offered to pay rent and even offered to put a time limit of six months on it.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “This is your child, and if it’s no skin off your back, what a wonderful way to spend more time with her, strengthen your relationship, and help her get back on her feet. What’s the problem with setting boundaries on how long she can stay?”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “You have ruined your relationship with your child. Enjoy the lack of contact from her. You just taught her that you’re not there for her when she needs you the most.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “Your kid is willing to sacrifice to the point of living apart from her long-term partner so they can save up. Most parents would be proud of having raised such a responsible kid.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.