In a journey shaped by strict religious backgrounds, the Original Poster (OP) confronts new challenges within her own family. After a near-fatal accident, her husband undergoes a profound spiritual transformation, leading to an unexpected and secretive plan for their infant son. As trust fractures and hidden intentions emerge, OP stands at a crossroads of faith, love, and personal history.
Roots in Faith
OP grew up in a Quiverfull cult family, where members believed God ordains the number of children right for them. They saw creating large families as a way to spread the word of the Bible.
The Agnostic Choice
As an adult, OP distances herself from overbearing Christianity and identifies as agnostic. When OP and her husband bonded, it was over their shared experiences in strict religious households and their escape.
Both OP and her husband had agreed that religion wouldn’t be a major part of their shared life. They attended religious events sparingly, mainly for family functions. They stood united in their decision, at least initially.
OP set clear limits with her husband’s Catholic parents about what she would and wouldn’t tolerate. They had achieved a semblance of peace and respect. This harmony, however, was soon to be disrupted.
A Terrifying Incident
While pregnant, OP faced a life-threatening car accident that almost claimed her life and her unborn son’s. OP lay unconscious in the hospital for hours while a flurry of doctors and nurses worked to save their lives.
A Husband’s Vow
In the hospital, fearing the worst for OP and their son, her husband experienced a profound religious moment. He promised that if both OP and their son survived, he would return to the Catholic Church. The survival of his family compelled him to fulfill this vow.
The husband, once distant from the Church, began practicing Catholicism again. While OP understood his emotional response during the crisis, the religious revival became a point of contention. OP grappled with the sudden religious fervor of the man she thought she knew.
The couple encountered numerous disagreements regarding the husband’s newfound faith. OP held her ground, refraining from engaging or discussing his beliefs. However, a bigger clash loomed on the horizon.
The Baptism Debate
The primary conflict arose around the baptism of their son. OP felt children should choose their religious path when they’re mature enough. They had pre-marriage agreements against succumbing to family pressures around baptism, but her husband now saw things differently.
Despite prior commitments, the husband believed it was now his duty to raise their child in the Catholic faith. He pleaded for OP’s concession, viewing baptism as a minor compromise. However, OP remained firm in her stance.
The husband planned to spend an afternoon with his parents and their son one day. But an accidental message from his mother revealed the true intention: a secret baptism. OP’s anger and sense of betrayal were palpable.
Confronting her husband, OP expressed her sense of betrayal. While he admitted his deception, he defended his right to raise his child as he deemed fit. For OP, this act jeopardized the foundational trust of their relationship.
Reminders of Agreement
OP emphasized the initial understanding they had as a couple. She believed that her husband’s actions contravened their mutual decisions. For OP, this breach could be a relationship dealbreaker.
The husband wasn’t inherently sneaky and selfish; his intentions were rooted in faith and concern. However, the secretive approach and disregard for prior agreements overshadowed his good intentions.
Battle Lines Drawn
The religious divergence became a significant strain on the marriage. OP grappled with the triggers of her past. Amid the emotional turmoil, OP recognized her husband’s qualities but was deeply perturbed by the religious wedge between them.
For OP, any religious decision made for their child must be informed and personal. She remained committed to supporting her son’s choices, but only if they were his own. The couple faced a challenging road ahead.
In Search of Common Ground
The goal for OP and her husband was to find a middle ground that respected their shared history and individual beliefs. The quest for understanding and compromise defined their evolving relationship.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posted her story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “If our kids decide to be baptized, that’s fine. But no one does it till the kids can decide for themselves.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “His trauma doesn’t give him the right to make decisions beyond himself. Your son belongs to both of you; things like this are a two-yes situation. Your feelings are valid, OP. You are his wife and partner; you have equal say.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “Communicate how strong of a boundary this is for you, and honestly, I wouldn’t trust him and his family alone with the kid because they might try it again.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “I would divorce for less. He’s lying to you about the indoctrination of your son. He thinks he’s the only one with a say about it. What else is he going to manipulate you about?”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.