In a poignant personal journey, the Original Poster (OP) highlights the complexities of a relationship strained by a partner’s ongoing struggles with employment and weight. As OP fervently searches for a job to avert an impending financial crisis, their partner grapples with self-image and physical discomfort, leading to a startling ultimatum that threatens to tear their world apart.
OP and their partner have been in a relationship for several years. Throughout this period, the partner’s employment record remains sporadic. The maximum tenure at a single job is just three months.
Persistent Weight Struggles
The partner has been overweight for the entire duration of their relationship. Despite multiple attempts at dieting and purchasing exercise equipment, there hasn’t been a significant change. The equipment mostly collects dust.
As time has progressed, OP’s partner faces physical discomfort more frequently. Tasks like dishwashing once shared between them, are now solely OP’s responsibility. Common requests from the partner include chores being completed before they can proceed with another task.
Job Search Beginnings
OP is actively seeking employment, ensuring to send out at least one job application daily. Currently, both are unemployed and financially supported by an external source. This third-party support is dwindling.
In the initial stages, OP’s partner set their sights on only supervisory roles. They believed they had already “put their time in” and did not want to be bossed around in a job setting. The partner’s perspective shifts from job specifications to personal issues.
Burden of Obesity
The partner declares an unwillingness to work until they lose weight, concerned about their public image, and constant physical discomfort. OP expresses their disagreement with the partner’s rationale.
The Struggle to Understand
The partner incredulously asks, “You’re kidding, right?” OP empathizes with the challenges of being overweight. However, they cannot condone using it as an excuse, especially when rejecting potential jobs.
Sedentary Yet Unwilling
Even desk jobs, which require minimal physical exertion, are declined by the partner. This is despite them spending a significant amount of their day on the computer. While OP is on the heavier side, they prioritize their needs.
A Plea for Action
They understand the importance of employment and the grim reality of potential homelessness. OP voices their wish for the partner to secure a job before their lease concludes in November. They stress the importance of financial security and stability.
OP’s request for their partner to secure a job by November is misconstrued by their partner. Instead of viewing it as a suggestion, they perceive it as an ultimatum. The implication of a hard deadline shakes the partner deeply.
Both partners navigate the complex interplay of personal challenges and relationship dynamics. OP considers that their partner might be depressed and thinks about ways they could intervene to help.
OP acknowledges that overweight people often encounter problems related to physical and occupational functioning due to their size. Being unable to do what they enjoy—such as travel or engage in public events—can lead to social isolation and difficulty coping.
The impending end of third-party support casts a shadow over their lives. The urgency of their financial situation is evident, yet there are contrasting attitudes towards it. OP’s partner remains firmly rooted in their decision.
The partner’s weight continues to be both a physical and emotional burden that dictates their choices. As November approaches, the couple’s future remains uncertain. With differing views on employment and responsibilities, the road ahead seems fraught with challenges.
Was The Partner’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts their story online for feedback and guidance from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “If I’m you, I’m looking for an inexpensive room for rent and moving out as soon as possible. I don’t think your partner is going to take action.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “Partner is just making an excuse upon excuse for not working. This person sounds like they’d still be unemployed even if they weren’t fat. Beggars can’t be choosers with jobs when you’re both unemployed and time is running out.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “There are plenty of work-from-home jobs right now where they can be sedentary. Being overweight doesn’t mean there aren’t bills that need to be paid.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “They are just jumping from one excuse to another not to get anything done. You need to look out for yourself because this person will not put you and your household first.”
Showdown at 40,000 Feet When Passenger Refuses to Move Up Her Reclined Seat in Economy.