When the Original Poster (OP) and her boyfriend Eric, both of different nationalities, contemplate the next significant steps in their three-year relationship—moving in together and engagement—they face an unexpected hurdle during a family dinner. Eric’s family suggests that OP undergo a traditional homemaking test designed to evaluate future daughters-in-law, causing friction between OP’s modern, career-focused values and the family’s traditional outlook. As tensions rise and dinner becomes an argument, the couple grapples with whether this test will become a deal-breaker, leaving their relationship at a critical crossroads.
Three Years of Romance
OP and her boyfriend, Eric, have been dating for three years. They are both of different nationalities, working in OP’s home country. Eric has met and spent time with OP’s family, including her parents, three siblings, and their families.
Since Eric’s family lives in another country, OP has only met them through video calls. Everyone has been warm and inviting in these scenarios, leaving OP no doubts about meeting in person one day.
The couple has been considering significant milestones, like moving in together and getting engaged. They decided to share this exciting news during a recent visit for OP to meet Eric’s family in person. Everyone appeared to be happy for them until an unexpected question came up.
The Unanticipated Question
During dinner with Eric’s family, his youngest sister-in-law abruptly asked if OP would take “the test.” Confused, OP inquired about what this test was. It turned out to be a family tradition designed to evaluate future daughters-in-law.
The Tradition Explained
Eric’s family has a long-standing practice where the future mother-in-law tests prospective daughters-in-law. The test involves assessments of homemaking skills like cleanliness, cooking, and manners. It’s a rite of passage that even Eric’s mother had to go through.
OP’s Stance on Homemaking
OP found the test to be outdated and unnecessary. She argued that her relationship with Eric should determine her suitability as a partner, not a domestic test. Furthermore, she had no intention of becoming a stay-at-home wife or mother.
A Clash of Lifestyles
Eric’s mother and sisters-in-law are all stay-at-home moms, which contrasts sharply with OP’s career-oriented lifestyle. When OP stated that she would prefer to hire help for chores rather than do them herself, it sparked a heated debate, effectively ruining the dinner.
Eric didn’t see the issue with OP taking the test. He viewed it as a harmless family tradition and didn’t think that failing it would have serious repercussions. In his eyes, it was just a test and should have been taken in stride.
Following the awkward dinner, tension was palpable between OP and Eric. Eric thought OP was overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill. Their differing viewpoints on the test were clearly causing a rift.
The Question of Compromise
Eric didn’t care whether OP would be a working wife or stay at home; he just wanted her to take the test. Yet OP remained steadfast in her belief that the test was unnecessary. This raised the larger question of how much compromise was acceptable in their relationship.
Values at Odds
Eric and OP have been together for three years, but this incident exposed underlying differences in their values and expectations. It brought questions about how much either was willing to bend to fit into the other’s family traditions.
To Engage or Not To Engage
With engagement and moving in together on the horizon, the test incident became a hurdle. The disagreement introduced doubts about how smooth their future journey would be. Eric thought OP was in the wrong, and OP still felt the test was unnecessary and outdated.
A Relationship at a Crossroads
The incident brought OP and Eric to a critical juncture in their relationship. Would they find a way to reconcile their differing viewpoints, or would this traditional test become a deal-breaker? Only time will tell.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP made a post online to get public opinion on the matter. The readers in the community forum had a lot of mixed views.
One reader said, “It sounds demeaning and condescending as hell. If your boyfriend thinks you’re good enough for him, you shouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone else.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “As a traditional guy, I’d feel awkward having my girlfriend undergo such tests. These are non-essential traits, especially considering I prefer to cook for myself. On top of that, it’s ME who decides. I don’t need permission from anyone else.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “My husband wanted me to be a stay-at-home wife, keep the house tidy, and spend all day cooking meals for him. He just grew up with this kind of life being normal, and ultimately, it was what he wanted, too. We got a divorce over this.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “I have seen too many relationships broken down because of this. Your boyfriend thinks this is a fun tradition because he fully expects you to do everything.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.