He Took On Grueling 18-Hour Shifts to Keep His Marriage Afloat, But His Wife's Heartbreaking Confession Changed Everything.

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The relationship between the Original Poster (OP) and his wife teeters on the brink as they grapple with her prolonged unemployment due to a mental health crisis and his overwhelming work hours.

The Breaking Point

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OP’s wife suffers a mental breakdown in her fifth year of teaching, leading her to quit her job. This sudden change forces OP to take on excessive working hours to maintain their lifestyle. The strain starts to manifest in their marriage.

Seeking Professional Help

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Realizing the rising tension, OP and his wife begin attending marriage counseling. The core issue revolves around her reluctance to return to work. Trust issues arise as the wife accuses OP of pushing her before she’s ready.

Grinding Gears

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OP’s workload increases, with shifts stretching beyond 18 hours, causing emotional and physical exhaustion. He constantly puts in 84-hour weeks, growing resentful as time goes on. Conversations around finances and responsibilities become more heated.

The Recurring Argument

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A particularly rough week pushes OP to his limit, reigniting the discussion about his wife’s return to work. Once again, she leans on her therapist’s advice as a defense.

An Emotional Outburst

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Tensions reach a climax as OP snaps, accusing his wife of hiding behind her therapist’s words. As emotions spiral, OP lets out his bottled-up feelings, venting about his wife’s perceived lack of contribution at home. The result is a painful fight, leading the wife to leave in distress.

Reflecting on Harsh Words

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Despite feeling justified in his frustrations, OP grapples with guilt over his harsh words. He acknowledges the gravity of his accusations but believes in their underlying truth. However, he wonders about the damage done.

Joint Therapy Sessions

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OP accompanies his wife to Therapy, hoping for understanding and solutions. Instead, he feels outnumbered, as their sessions often revolve around supporting his wife’s recovery and dismissing his struggles. It becomes a stage for more conflict.

Debating Financial Solutions

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In a bid to find a middle ground, OP suggests renting out their house and moving to an apartment. But even this proposal is shot down by the therapist, citing potential harm to his wife’s mental state. OP’s frustration continues to build.

The Cooking Controversy

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A seemingly simple suggestion from OP for his wife to cook more at home sparks another disagreement. While OP sees it as a way to alleviate some financial pressure and work hours, his wife and her therapist see it differently. They feel it’s a critique of their financial management.

Marriage Counselor vs. Therapist

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The couple’s marriage counselor offers suggestions at odds with the wife’s therapist, further complicating matters. OP’s wife distrusts the marriage counselor’s advice, leading to even more tension. They’re trapped in a cycle of differing opinions.

A Friend’s Intervention

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Seeing OP’s distress, a friend advises him to consult a lawyer, hinting at the possibility of separation. The suggestion makes OP reflect on the sustainability of his current situation. As much as he loves his wife, he recognizes the toll it’s taking on him.

Reaching a Crossroad

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OP realizes that continuing on this path might lead to his own mental breakdown. He grapples with a painful choice: prioritizing his own well-being might mean leaving the woman he loves. He seeks solace in external opinions, turning to online forums for guidance.

Online Opinions

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The online community chimes in with diverse views. Some support OP’s perspective, while others offer fresh solutions. However, many amplify his own fears about the sustainability of his current lifestyle.

Seeking Individual Therapy

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OP decides to seek his own therapist, aiming to address his personal struggles and anxieties. This became a turning point for him. He learns to voice his concerns without lashing.

Was Telling His Wife To Get A Job Appropriate?

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The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “Therapy or not, for the past five years, she has basically lived a lifestyle where she gets to relax as much as she wants, and it’s all subsidized by you. You have my sympathy for that.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote: “She has all the regard for her own mental health, but no compassion for how her inability to work is making your mental health suffer.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person states, “Reality is simple. The money needs to be made. If she cannot make money, the responsibility of doing whatever she can falls on her. She should cook and clean and handle everything that has to be handled to the best of her ability.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another viewpoint on the story: “It sounds like she’s spent the past few years gaslighting you and emotionally manipulating you whilst she simultaneously works you to death. You’re killing yourself with 18-hour days for her, and I’m sure you’re the villain in every story she tells. Has she ever thanked you for supporting her? Does she do anything nice for you? I’d bet not.”