In a whirlwind of familial tensions, the Original Poster (OP) navigates a tumultuous relationship with her once-beloved mother-in-law after becoming pregnant. As misunderstandings and accusations fly, OP takes a controversial approach to communication, leading to unexpected consequences and deepening rifts within the family.
The Charm Before the Storm
OP recalls how her mother-in-law was incredibly sweet to her from the onset of her relationship with her husband. They had built a close bond over time. However, the dynamics changed significantly when OP became pregnant.
The First Misunderstanding
Within five months of pregnancy, the mother-in-law twists a private conversation, causing family drama. OP had expressed concern about returning to work and leaving her baby alone, but the mother-in-law interprets this as distrust towards her.
Following the initial confusion, the mother-in-law accuses OP of badmouthing her to her own family. This arises from a simple query from OP’s mother regarding the baby’s care, leading to yet another misunderstanding.
The Alleged Insult
The mother-in-law feels hurt when OP voices concerns about some baby gifts. OP’s preference to avoid pacifiers, of which the mother-in-law had bought many, leads to the latter feeling her gifts were deemed “stupid.”
Tears and Miscommunication
OP grows weary of the recurring pattern: a private discussion gets misinterpreted, leading to drama and culminating in the mother-in-law’s tearful claim of misunderstanding. This emotional roller coaster becomes a draining routine.
The Public Facade
Despite the private confrontations, the mother-in-law maintains her pleasant demeanor in public, fooling everybody. To outsiders, including family, she appears to be the same “old” self they’ve always known.
Caught in Between
One of the hardest aspects for OP is repeatedly clarifying things with her husband. The misunderstandings lead to multiple arguments between the couple, further straining their relationship.
A New Strategy
To counteract the ongoing drama, OP decides to involve her husband in all interactions with her mother-in-law. Whether in person or over the phone, she ensures he’s always present to witness their conversations.
The Group Chat
OP introduces a group chat, making sure her husband is included in all text exchanges. This provides a written record and minimizes the chances of further misinterpretations. Whenever the mother-in-law calls, OP ensures her husband is in the room.
If OP’s husband is not around when her mother-in-law calls, she either moves to where he is or declines the call, ensuring he can listen in on all their phone conversations. This new system doesn’t sit well with the husband or the mother-in-law.
The Lure of Solitude
OP admits her vulnerability when alone with her mother-in-law. Despite the ongoing drama, there are moments when she feels blindsided by her mother-in-law’s charm, reminding her of the friendship they once shared.
Holding Onto Hope
Believing that this new system might salvage their relationship even though it annoys her husband, OP remains committed to it. She sees it as a way to maintain some semblance of a bond without the constant drama.
Reflection and Doubt
With the situation escalating, OP starts questioning her methods. She wonders if she’s overreacting, especially concerning the written proofs via text. She considers whether she’s doing too much and contemplates tweaking her strategy.
Weighing the Evidence
OP evaluates the pros and cons of her approach and the efficacy of her methods, particularly when it comes to calls versus texts. Faced with the emotional turmoil and strained relationships, OP is on the verge of a decision to continue with her current strategy or modify it.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online, seeking unbiased opinions and constructive feedback from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “OP, you’re going to have a baby soon, and your husband doesn’t trust you or have your back. Get into marriage counseling. It will be way easier now than when you have a screaming or nursing newborn with you in the room.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “Your husband needs to look at why MIL hates it so much that he’s involved in all communications because if everything is above board, it wouldn’t be a problem for him to hear/read what’s said.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “You don’t need any added drama right now. It’s concerning that your husband doesn’t get it. If you didn’t have to work so hard to convince him every time there was an altercation, you wouldn’t be in this current situation.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “MIL sounds like she has typical narcissistic personality disorder. She lovebombed you into trusting her, collected information, and now is using it against you to get her own way – whatever it is. She’s toxic and probably will not stop being toxic.”
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