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He Sent Child Support Every Month, Yet the State of His Daughter’s Tattered Clothes Brought a Shocking Revelation.

Caught in a tangle of parental duties, the Original Poster (OP) finds himself at odds with his ex-girlfriend, Yvonne, over the state of their daughter’s clothing. As Kiki returns from Yvonne’s home in consistently tattered outfits, tensions escalate, culminating in a pivotal moment involving a pair of ruined shoes. Yet, as accusations fly and emotions run high, where does the line between concern and pettiness truly lie?

A Shared Responsibility

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OP, a 35-year-old man, shares 50/50 custody of his daughter, 7-year-old daughter Kiki, with his ex-girlfriend, Yvonne. Every time Yvonne returns Kiki, she wears tattered clothes. Despite Yvonne’s lower income, OP supports her financially, covering Kiki’s expenses.

Dingy Outfits

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Kiki regularly returns from Yvonne’s in old, ill-fitting clothes. Often, they are not appropriate for the season or have visible wear and tear. Additionally, Kiki’s shoes are always dirty and worn out.

Generosity Extended

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Aware of Yvonne’s financial constraints, OP sends her a monthly sum for Kiki’s expenses. Wanting to assist further, OP’s wife, Sara, suggests they cover all of Kiki’s education and childcare costs to allow Yvonne to solely use the money for Kiki’s well-being.

A New Wardrobe

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To ensure Kiki doesn’t wear the dingy clothes back to Yvonne’s, OP and Sara decide to send her new clothes they’ve purchased. However, these clothes consistently return ruined or in poor condition, causing concern.

Shoes to Show Off

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In a kind gesture, Sara’s mom gifts Kiki a pair of new shoes. Eager to show them off, Kiki wears them to Yvonne’s. To OP and Sara’s dismay, they return completely spoiled, with Yvonne explaining a park visit as the cause.

A Practical Solution

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To prevent further damage to quality outfits, Sara buys clothes from affordable stores like Rainbow, H&M, and Walmart. The idea is to send these less expensive outfits to Yvonne’s, preserving Kiki’s finer clothes at OP’s residence.

Accusations of Pettiness

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Yvonne confronts OP and Sara, labeling them as petty. She believes buying clothes from “cheap stores” and keeping tabs on outfits creates a toxic environment for Kiki. She feels it indirectly insults her and Kiki.

A Father’s Concern

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OP’s primary motivation is to prevent Kiki from appearing unkempt. He believes it’s embarrassing and negatively affects Kiki’s self-esteem. By keeping her best outfits at his home, he feels he’s preserving them for her.

The Unseen Quality

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Kiki is more concerned about the clothing designs and patterns, not about the expense. OP wants the clothes to be sturdy and presentable. Meanwhile, Yvonne’s perception of OP and Sara’s actions is rooted in feeling judged and inadequate.

External Opinions

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Uncertain about his decisions and wanting external feedback, OP turns to family and friends. He wonders if he’s genuinely acting selfishly and pettily by separating Kiki’s outfits based on quality.

The Financial Disparity

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OP acknowledges the financial differences between him and Yvonne. Even with the monthly support he provides, there seems to be a distinct contrast in the lifestyle and provisions each parent can offer Kiki.

Sara’s Protective Streak

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From offering financial solutions to buying budget-friendly clothes, Sara showcases her protective nature towards Kiki. Her actions stem from a desire to ensure Kiki’s well-being and appearance.

A Grandmother’s Gift

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Sara’s mother’s gesture of gifting shoes to Kiki becomes a pivotal point in the ongoing clothing debate. The ruined shoes magnify the issue at hand. While a simple park visit for Yvonne might mean letting Kiki play freely, OP and Sara might see it as carelessness.

Between Two Homes

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Kiki, caught between her parents’ differing approaches, remains oblivious to the clothing quality debate. She’s a child enjoying fun colors and her favorite characters on her shirts and leggings, unaware of the underlying tensions.

A Question of Intent

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OP grapples with the dilemma: is he truly being considerate or merely petty? With varying perspectives from Yvonne, Sara, friends, and family, he’s left to evaluate his actions and intentions.

Was The Father’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP posts his story online for feedback and validation from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “Yvonne, I think, purposely sees to it that the new clothes you send Kiki in are ruined. Now she’s mad because you are sending Kiki to her in clothes where it won’t matter if they are ruined or not.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “Start keeping a photographic record of your kid when she arrives. If you’re giving money for her needs, there’s no reason for her to be ragged and dirty all the time. There may be misuse of the money you send as well as neglect involved.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “Children are rough on clothing. I don’t know what Rainbow is, but Walmart, Target, and H&M have decent clothing for children, so I don’t know what your ex-girlfriend is complaining about. Does she expect you to shop at Nordstrom’s for a seven-year-old?”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “You are sending her to her mother’s in new, clean, well-fitting clothes. Whether they are from Walmart or not is immaterial. If anything, spending money on expensive clothes for a seven-year-old is throwing it down the drain due to how quickly they grow.”

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