In a household steeped in concern and contradictions, the Original Poster (OP) grapples with her daughter Mila’s escalating weight issues and insecurities. While she believes her interventions stem from love, Mila’s explosive revelation about the root of her struggles changes everything, leading to a climactic confrontation that shakes the very foundation of their relationship.
Mila’s University Adventure
Mila is eighteen and about to attend a prestigious university across the state. Her mother beams with pride as she prepares to embark on her academic journey. Yet, despite her accomplishments, Mila’s extra weight and insecurities overshadow her visit.
An Unwelcome Comparison
Mila’s younger, svelte 15-year-old cousin visits and her presence magnifies Mila’s self-consciousness. The differences between the two are noticeable, and Mila’s insecurity becomes increasingly evident.
Early Beginnings of Healthy Eating
As a toddler, Mila was introduced to nutritious foods and good habits. Despite her mother’s best intentions, these lessons never solidified in Mila’s daily life. For a time, Mila went to live with her grandparents, who did not push a healthy diet and regularly indulged in junk food.
Father’s Contradictory Influence
Mila’s father, whom she visited every other weekend, was an exceptionally fit athlete. He thrived on pastries and trail mix. This inconsistent message between his eating habits and his athletic prowess baffled Mila.
As a military family, every place OP and Mila settled had a strong push for the youth to join a base-wide running club. Despite her detest for these clubs, OP believed it was necessary for her health.
A Struggle with Diets
Mila’s dietary journey was peppered with various trials – from gluten-free stints to her decision to adopt vegetarianism. But no matter the approach, the outcome remained unchanged. Behind closed doors, she would secretly binge, undoing any progress.
Throughout middle school, Mila grappled with mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression. With her father frequently working and the common angst of a teenager, her struggles went unnoticed.
The Swift Transition
As Mila transitioned into high school and college, her weight gain accelerated. From being slightly chubby, she now stood on the precipice of obesity. With each passing year, her defensiveness about her health intensified.
A Household at Odds
Interventions became a recurring theme in their household, each met with increased resistance from Mila. Every attempt to discuss her health was rebuffed. She believed her parents had no right to intervene, especially now that she was eighteen.
Accusations and Realizations
When confronted, Mila lashes out, accusing her mother of being overbearing and labeling their behavior as “toxic.” She believes that her early interventions gave her an eating disorder during middle school.
A Question of Timing
Mila feels that her mother’s concern about her weight from as early as age five was misplaced. She sees it as a major contributor to her current struggles. OP, however, feels justified in her early concerns, pointing to her present condition as proof.
Mila claims she’s actively addressing her health issues, yet her efforts remain invisible to her mother. This gap between her words and visible actions further strains their relationship. Both parties remain entrenched in their perspectives.
A Home Filled with Resentment
The once harmonious household is now riddled with contention. The ongoing conflict about Mila’s health has become a primary source of household tension. The atmosphere is thick with unresolved emotions and unsaid words.
Questioning Parental Decisions
Every decision made by OP was rooted in concern for her well-being. She grapples with the consequences of her choices and wonders if a different approach would have led to a different outcome.
The Unseen Struggles
Behind Mila’s weight lie layers of unaddressed emotional and mental battles. These hidden struggles, masked by her physical appearance, remain a significant component of the ongoing family discord.
Was The Parent’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts the story online, hoping for advice and constructive feedback from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “From the age of five, she’s never been able to have a healthy relationship with food, and that is on you. Hopefully, when she is away at college and away from your influence, she can move past it.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “Putting a pre-teen on a diet for ‘a bit of belly chub’ is not the right thing to do, and her binging in middle school should have been a sign of how you were affecting her mental health.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “You put your child on diets and forced them into running clubs not because a doctor noticed a health issue and told you to, but because you were preoccupied with a little extra weight.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “She feels like you are focusing on her weight more than her as a person. As a mother, I understand wanting your children to be healthy, but constantly focusing on her weight will cause her mental health to be damaged.”