In a tale of love, recovery, and conflict, the Original Poster (OP) navigates a treacherous turn in her relationship when her fiancé, influenced by a coworker, proposes a prenuptial agreement.
A Proposal With Strings Attached
OP’s fiancé surprises her with a request for a prenuptial agreement, ensuring that if their marriage ends, they will both keep what they came into the marriage with. This catches OP completely off guard.
Uncovering the Past
Six years ago, when OP and her fiancé met, he was struggling with drug and alcohol addiction and severe depression. OP invested her time and energy into aiding his recovery, standing by him when he was at his lowest.
The Climb to Recovery
OP’s fiancé turns his life around, breaking free from his addiction and his depressive state. He even resumes his education, graduates with honors, and lands a solid career. However, OP feels her role in his recovery is being overlooked.
Persistent Battle Against Addiction
There’s a point when OP has to explain to her fiancé that occasional hard drug use was not an option. She was happy to be there for him, but there was no doubt that it was a long road to recovery, and she had been there every step of the way.
As her fiancé re-enters school, OP juggles her own studies, full-time work, and supporting him academically. She even pays for his exams when he cannot afford them. She was committed to him from the beginning of their relationship.
Having overcome their early struggles, the couple now enjoy a stable lifestyle. Both have good careers, rent a nice house, and have financial stability. The prenuptial agreement conflict threatens their otherwise happy life together.
A Matter Of Assets
For OP, prenups are reserved for famous people or people with a lot of assets. They live a comfortable lifestyle, but they certainly don’t fall into those categories. She has no plans of divorcing him, so this seems like a silly use of time and money.
Not About the Money
OP clarifies that her opposition to the prenup is not driven by greed, as they both earn similar salaries and are not particularly materialistic. The issue is deeper, rooted in an acknowledgment of past support.
OP is also currently pursuing her graduate studies. She can take care of herself if needed. That is another reason why she is confused. She isn’t trying to use her fiance in any way.
OP feels insulted that the prenuptial agreement seems to erase her role in her fiancé’s success. The document would state that she had no part in his accomplishments pre-marriage. This raises a conflict of recognition and respect in their relationship.
The thought of asking her fiancé to sign a similar agreement feels wrong to OP. This highlights her sentiment of the prenup being unjust and one-sided.
A Surprise Revelation
OP discovers that the idea of the prenup wasn’t her fiancé’s but his coworker’s. She also discovers that this coworker had recently been through a nasty divorce himself.
OP’s refusal to sign the prenup starts causing a rift between the couple. Their once-solid bond begins to crack under the weight of this disagreement. The potential for a happy life together starts to seem uncertain. Will refusing to sign a prenup break a six-year bond?
Was Refusing To Sign A Prenup Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “You say the prenup is 50/50, so I really don’t see the issue there. You may have helped your partner get through a really rough time and come out of the other end, but in the end, everything he’s earned, HE earned. You say you don’t expect to be rewarded for the help you gave him, yet the message between the lines says otherwise.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “Yes, you had a part in his success prior to you guys getting married. However, that was not done with the intention of being compensated for his future success.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “You should talk to him, explain how you feel. This seems like a relatively new idea to him, so just explain how you feel about it. Communication is vital in a relationship.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “Him suggesting a prenup is just a safeguard for both of you and not because he doesn’t love you. Don’t let a prenup which states that you keep what you earned fall between you marrying someone who you love and who also loves you back.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.