The Original Poster (OP) finds himself at odds with his wife’s sudden shift from their shared feminist ideals, as she advises their daughter that boys should pay for everything in a relationship, leading to an escalating conflict and an unexpected role reversal. As OP’s daughter grows increasingly entitled, exploiting her boyfriend’s willingness to pay.
A Serene Start
OP and his wife, married for 18 years, have a 16-year-old daughter who recently started dating a shy, respectful young man. The couple, staunch feminists, raised their daughter to be independent and capable.
A Gentle Intruder
The boyfriend is nervous, believing his girlfriend to be out of his league. This trait endears him to OP’s wife, who finds his shyness appealing. Their daughter’s relationship with this young man brings an unexpected change in the wife’s attitude.
The Change in Mom
OP’s wife, usually an advocate for equality, starts advising their daughter differently, suggesting boys should pay for everything in a relationship. Her unusual guidance raises OP’s eyebrows. This marks a significant departure from their usual principles.
A Balancing Act
In response, OP attempts to mitigate the effect of his wife’s advice by teaching his daughter about financial equality in relationships. He uses practical examples to illustrate when it’s appropriate to split the bill. This is OP’s first active step to counter the unexpected influence of his wife’s changed ideals.
The Spoils of Love
Despite OP’s efforts, he notices his daughter becoming increasingly entitled to her boyfriend’s money. She begins to see the relationship as a means to get gifts and have her expenses covered.
The Homefront Conflict
The strain between OP and his wife grows as they disagree on their daughter’s behavior. OP confronts his wife about the impact of her advice on their daughter’s attitude. This confrontation leads to a conflict that goes beyond mere parenting differences.
The Feminist Dilemma
OP’s wife insists this financial dependence is a “rite of passage” for girls, a viewpoint that stands in stark contrast to their feminist beliefs. OP counters, arguing that it’s not acceptable to view relationships as personal ATMs. Their ideological clash reaches a boiling point.
An Unexpected Reversal
The OP’s wife becomes angry with him. OP finds himself at odds with the woman who once shared his values. This marks a significant shift in the family relationship dynamic.
The Pressure of Pride
Their daughter continues to enjoy the financial benefits of her relationship, even boasting about getting her boyfriend to buy her gift cards. This further fuels OP’s concern, driving a wedge between him and his wife. The daughter’s growing entitlement becomes the visible symptom of the couple’s disagreement.
The Quiet Boy’s Burden
The shy boyfriend continues to finance their daughter’s demands, unaware of the tension his actions have caused. His nervousness and desire to please make him an unwitting participant in the family’s growing discord. The power dynamic in the young relationship mirrors the imbalance in OP’s marital relationship.
The Ideological Standoff
OP’s belief in equality and his wife’s newfound insistence on chivalry lead to an impasse. The disagreement shifts from their daughter’s behavior to a broader ideological conflict. This standoff reveals deeper issues between the couple’s shared values.
A House Divided
Their home becomes a battleground as OP and his wife continue to clash over their daughter’s behavior. This conflict strains their relationship and their collective parenting approach. The once harmonious home is now filled with tension and hostility.
Was Anyone’s Behavior Inappropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “This is teaching her to be financially dependent on men and creating a sense of entitlement. ”
Another responder wrote: “It’s not cute.”
A Different Perspective
A different person states, “If things don’t change, give that poor boyfriend of hers a heads up. If he’s a good kid, he doesn’t deserve to be used if she doesn’t actually care about him beyond his wallet.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
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Alex is a writer for Top Dollar Investor, focusing on lifestyle, travel, and business stories. Alex has started several online businesses and is a blogger who loves providing quality content to help others. He is passionate about affiliate marketing, finance, and cryptocurrency.