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Autistic Daughter’s Obsession Spirals Into a Heated Money Dispute When the Nanny Buys Her Gifts but Her Mother Says the Nanny Has Ulterior Motives.nding Among the Parents.

When Ruby, the daughter of the Original Poster (OP), develops a voracious appetite for Star Trek books, the family’s nanny, Tessa, inadvertently deepens a seemingly harmless hobby into a heated financial conflict. The heart of the tension arises when Tessa buys a large haul of books without explicit consent, expecting reimbursement from a surprised and reluctant OP. As misunderstandings and tempers flare, the climax escalates to a breaking point that will test relationships and force a reckoning of responsibilities.

A Nerd is Born

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Ruby, OP’s 12-year-old daughter, dives into the world of Star Trek, both the original series and The Next Generation. Fascinated, she starts collecting old Star Trek books from used bookstores and thrift stores. Her interests and habits begin to shape the everyday dynamics at home.

Nanny Tessa, the Unexpected Ally

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Tessa, OP’s nanny and a keen thrifter, becomes Ruby’s accomplice in this unique hobby. She keeps an eye out for the books Ruby wants, fostering a close bond between them. This peculiar relationship evolves as Tessa brings back one or two books for Ruby after every thrift store visit.

A Surprise Vacation Twist

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The routine gets a jolt when Tessa embarks on a family vacation. She finds a pile of Star Trek books and messages Ruby about it. Innocently, Ruby gives her affirmation without considering the implications of cost or quantity.

The Hefty Return

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Tessa returns from vacation with a surprise – a stack of about thirty-five Star Trek books. When she reveals the cost of the books is $50, Ruby is stunned. She doesn’t have that kind of money.

The Great Misunderstanding

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Tessa turns to OP for the money to reimburse her investment, leading to an intense conflict. Upon examining the texts between Ruby and Tessa, OP finds no mention of the cost or the number of books.

Communication Difficulties

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Tessa assumed Ruby had understood that she would be the one to pay for the books. However, Tessa did not fully consider Ruby’s unique autistic challenges and difficulty with non-literal communication.

Sticking to Principles

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OP refuses to cover the cost and suggests that Tessa should have been more careful. Despite Tessa’s claims about the non-refundability of the books, OP remains adamant. The issue escalates, unsettling the previously harmonious home environment.

Unforeseen Consequences

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Ruby is upset, and Tessa leaves the house disgruntled. The air is filled with tension and uncertainty. OP wrestles with whether her decision to refuse payment was morally justified or if she had unnecessarily caused an upheaval in her family.

Behind The Finances

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As a single parent, OP realizes that every unexpected expense, no matter how small, has the potential to disrupt the delicate balance of her carefully managed budget. Further, a monthly fund for Tessa’s activities with Ruby was already exhausted.

The Funding Mystery

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Tessa’s services are funded by the state as Ruby is on the autism spectrum. OP isn’t directly involved in Tessa’s payment process, a fact that adds more justification to her refusal to cover the cost.

The Resolution

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In an attempt to ease the tension, OP pays Tessa for the books and apologizes for the misunderstanding. A new understanding is formed about future expectations. OP’s choice is guided by the desire to preserve the relationships more than the fiscal consequence.

A New System

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To avoid future conflict and encourage financial responsibility, Ruby agrees to pay OP for the books over time. She will receive two books every week, balancing her reading speed and money management.

A Complicated Alliance

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Despite the resolution, the relationship between OP, Tessa, and Ruby is irrevocably changed. The new agreement brings a sense of order, but the previous friction still lingers. The trio navigates this new terrain with cautious optimism.

Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP posts her story online. The readers in the community forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “Sometimes it’s better to salvage an important relationship than to be right. Pay for the books.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “You’re blessed with a very thoughtful nanny who thinks of your child even when she’s not at work. There was a misunderstanding about the cost.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “She should have reached out to you to confirm; she made a mistake. You can’t look past that mistake and the kindness she is showing your daughter.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “Your nanny thought she was doing something great for your kid. It’s fine to set a boundary after a misunderstanding, but you’re not going to reimburse a young adult who was just trying to encourage and care for your kid? Seriously think about it.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.

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