senior mother back away on couch in with young daughter girl teenager fighting

Mother-In-Law Offers to Become Full-Time Nanny, but Her Secret Intentions Leave the New Mom Disillusioned and Perplexed.

The Original Poster (OP) faces an overbearing mother-in-law (MIL) who insists on quitting her own job to become a full-time nanny for the OP’s child. This tension mounts as the OP struggles to maintain her patience while trying to assert her own parenting and career decisions, leaving us on the edge of our seats as we wonder how she will resolve this.

Shifting Dynamics

mother daughter talking fighting conflict
image credit: syda-productions canva

The story begins with OP enjoying a cordial relationship with her mother-in-law (MIL). However, after having a child, OP notices a change in her MIL’s behavior, driven by a desire to exert control. As OP states, “As soon as I had the baby, she turned into someone who craves control.”

A New Path

Young mother caressing her newborn baby
image credit: tomsickova-tatyana/shutterstock

OP and her partner decided together for OP to leave her thriving corporate career to become a full-time mom. Later on, the OP plans to start her own business and work from home to bring in additional income while also tending to her child. This transition was an intentional choice, one that both OP and her partner agreed upon.

The Unexpected Proposal

woman fighting mother argument
image credit: canva

During a visit, MIL reveals her plan to quit her job and become the couple’s full-time nanny. OP is taken aback when MIL clarifies that she intends to look after OP’s baby, allowing OP to return to her previous full-time job. As OP notes, “You can imagine my shock when she said it was to look after my baby so I can go back to work full time.”

Gracious Rejection

young serious woman showing time out stop no
image credit: pathdoc/shutterstock

OP politely declines MIL’s proposal, explaining that she already gave notice and left her career to raise her child and manage her new home-based business. This decision was not made lightly, and she has no intention of returning to her previous corporate job. However, MIL seems frustrated and insists that when the baby starts school, OP must return to work.

The Unsettled Atmosphere

woman hold on stop no back space
image credit: cast-of-thousands/shutterstock

As the tension grows, OP’s partner enters the room. Sensing the discomfort, MIL attempts to change the subject. However, OP stands her ground, reiterating her position and plans for her child and career.

A Displeased Partner

male business man thinking jobs
image credit: mangostar-studio/canva

OP’s partner is shocked by his mother’s presumption. He expresses his disappointment over his mother’s lack of understanding towards OP’s new business, which he perceives as dismissive. He wonders where his mother got the idea that they needed a full-time nanny.

Repeated Assumptions

middle aged wrinkled mother woman keeps index finger on cheek stands in thoughtful pose daydreams
image credit: cast-of-thousands/shutterstock

This is not the first time MIL has made assumptions about OP’s child and career choices. She even insists that OP and her partner should vacation alone while she cares for the baby. It’s a pattern of behavior that OP finds distressing.

Understanding the Root Cause

brunette woman wearing casual sweater pensive question thinking idea
image credit: kraken-images/shutterstock

OP realizes that her MIL’s pushiness stems from a place of love and a desire to be involved in her grandchild’s life. She understands that MIL had a significant role in raising her own daughter’s children, but she and her partner have different plans for their family. OP feels the need to assert this difference to her MIL.

The Struggle to Convey Differences

attractive couple in casual clothing smiling engaged together
image credit: dean-drobot/shutterstock

Despite understanding MIL’s intentions, OP and her partner struggle to make her understand that their approach to parenting will be different. They wish to maintain their autonomy and control over their lives and the upbringing of their child, causing a significant difference in expectations.

A Crucial Decision

young woman teacher in green polo neck thinking idea
image credit: cast-of-thousands/shutterstock

OP is caught between her desire to maintain a peaceful relationship with her MIL and the need to assert her own decisions regarding her child and career. She’s concerned that the tension could lead to a significant family rift if not handled appropriately. Her anxiety about the situation continues to grow.

Balancing Roles

upset woman stressed
image credit: shotprime/canva

OP finds herself balancing multiple roles as a new mother and a businesswoman. She loves being a full-time mom and also running her business from home. However, she feels the constant pressure from her MIL to fit into a role she has consciously decided against, creating a conflict of interests.

The Fear of Consequences

woman unsure smug too bad hands out huh
image credit: khosro/canva

OP is conscious of the potential negative consequences her outburst could have on her family’s relationships. She doesn’t want to cause any rifts within the family by responding rudely to her MIL. Still, she is acutely aware that she needs to assert her own needs and the needs of her child.

Seeking Help

sad woman feeling tired worried about problem sitting on sofa with laptop stressed depressed teen girl
image credit: fizkes/shutterstock

In a desperate plea for advice, OP asks for help on how to deal with the situation. She is looking for a way to firmly yet respectfully communicate her feelings to her MIL. As OP articulates, “Help!” it is clear that she’s at her wit’s end, seeking support and guidance to navigate this tricky family dynamic.

What Should The Woman Do?

confused young woman huh
image credit: dean-drobot/canva

The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responded

male shocked computer social media
image credit: khosro/canva

One reader said, “The issue is she never asked; she just tells you what she has decided for you, your kids, career, etc., which is overstepping and controlling.”

Another Viewpoint

woman keeps finger on lips looks with pensive expression above makes important decision think idea
image credit: cast-of-thousands/shutterstock

Another responder wrote: “A good relationship with good grandparents is an amazing luxury. They add so much quality to a child’s upbringing. But bad grandparents? They’re more harm than good.”

A Different Perspective

business people using laptop and discussing about new project at office work investing
image credit: ivanko80/shutterstock

A different person states, “She’s being sneaky by talking to you only; again, that’s not good. She may have plenty of good qualities, but as an outsider looking in, she wants to play house with your baby. ”

What Do You Think?

group meeting
image: monkeybusiness images/canva

What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

More From Top Dollar

male pointing finger
image credit: isai hernandez/canva

In a community terrorized by the iron-fisted rule of an oppressive HOA president, a man decides to challenge her authority and fight her outrageous rules.

His Tyrannical HOA President Makes His Life Miserable, So He Exposes Her Dark Secret and Takes Her Down.

More From Top Dollar

man diver
image credit: andrew poplavsky/canva

Wild jobs that pay way more than they ought to.

13 Useless Jobs That Pay Too Much and Should Be Eliminated

More From Top Dollar

woman old mother angry frustrated
image credit: slatan/canva

The original poster of the story, a 29-year-old man, had a series of conflicts with his mother-in-law that threatened to ruin his marriage.

His Mother-In-Law Is Ruining His Marriage, So Here’s What He Decided to Do

Josh Dudick

Josh is a financial expert with over 15 years of experience on Wall Street as a senior market strategist and trader. His career has spanned from working on the New York Stock Exchange floor to investment management and portfolio trading at Citibank, Chicago Trading Company, and Flow Traders.

Josh graduated from Cornell University with a degree from the Dyson School of Applied Economics & Management at the SC Johnson College of Business. He has held multiple professional licenses during his career, including FINRA Series 3, 7, 24, 55, Nasdaq OMX, Xetra & Eurex (German), and SIX (Swiss) trading licenses. Josh served as a senior trader and strategist, business partner, and head of futures in his former roles on Wall Street.

Josh's work and authoritative advice have appeared in major publications like Nasdaq, Forbes, The Sun, Yahoo! Finance, CBS News, Fortune, The Street, MSN Money, and Go Banking Rates. Josh currently holds areas of expertise in investing, wealth management, capital markets, taxes, real estate, cryptocurrencies, and personal finance.

Josh currently runs a wealth management business and investment firm. Additionally, he is the founder and CEO of Top Dollar, where he teaches others how to build 6-figure passive income with smart money strategies that he uses professionally.