In a heartfelt narrative, the Original Poster (OP) reveals the challenges of understanding her daughter’s mental health struggles, leading to a tense confrontation with the therapist. As revelations unfold about potential family trauma, the session escalates to an emotional climax, leaving both mother and daughter grappling with their next steps.
A Mother’s Admission
At 43, OP has a 22-year-old daughter who has battled mental health disorders throughout her life. Diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, and borderline personality disorder, her journey has not been an easy one.
The Unexpected Invitation
Despite being a single mother, OP confesses her limited understanding and dismissive approach to these challenges. When her daughter expressed a desire for OP to join her in a therapy session, she hesitated.
Hope for Understanding
The daughter’s evident enthusiasm tipped the scales, and the session was scheduled. OP hoped it would be a chance to understand her child’s struggles better. Upon their arrival, the therapist seemed intent on questioning OP.
The therapist wanted to understand OP’s background and her perspective on mental health. While OP honestly shared that she never had much exposure to mental health in her upbringing, the therapist’s reaction struck a nerve, hinting at preconceived judgments.
Confronting Family Secrets
The discussion took a more personal turn as the therapist probed into the family’s history of addiction and mental issues. As OP denied any such history, she was confronted with narratives from her daughter that suggested otherwise. The revelations unsettled her.
The Trauma Revelation
Things intensified when the therapist introduced the idea that bipolar disorder often emerges as a trauma response. She painted a picture suggesting that OP’s way of dealing with emotions might have inadvertently played a role in her daughter’s condition.
Rather than leaving it at that, the therapist sought to be constructive. She presented coping mechanisms that OP could adopt to heal her own trauma, which in turn could aid her daughter’s healing process.
Having felt judged, misunderstood, and blamed, OP’s patience snapped. Perceiving the therapist’s advice as misguided and offensive, she made her feelings known heatedly. Unable to take any more, she left the session abruptly.
The tensions of the day didn’t end with the therapy session. OP’s daughter reached out, her voice laden with tears. The rift between mother and daughter widened as OP’s protective instincts kicked in.
Defending Her Stance
In the emotional turmoil of the aftermath, OP suggested her daughter seek a different therapist, asserting her belief that the current one wasn’t competent. The intensity of emotions continued to escalate.
Reflections in Solitude
After the dust settled, a sense of doubt crept into OP’s mind. She wondered whether her actions during the session were too rash. The possibility that she might have mishandled the situation began to resonate.
Confused and torn, OP sought external perspectives. She narrated her ordeal, laying out the facts and her emotions in the hope that others might shine a light on her actions. Was she at fault, or just a concerned mother?
The Silent Struggles
OP’s dismissive approach was a coping mechanism, but its consequences were far-reaching. For OP, it was a revelation about the challenges her daughter faced, and the role family dynamics played.
Choices and Consequences
OP’s choice to leave the session had unintended consequences, straining the bond with her daughter. Though the therapy session was turbulent, the underlying intent was healing. Both mother and daughter sought solutions to their shared pain.
In Search of Answers
In the end, OP is left with more questions than answers. The therapy session was meant to be a step towards clarity but muddied the waters instead. The journey of self-discovery and understanding continues.
Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “Licensed Counselor here. BPD is a trauma response. Trauma does not have to be what you think of as abuse to cause the same results as abuse. It would do you good to educate yourself on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “I’d feel sorry for you since you are obviously in denial about your own shortcomings and upbringing, but it’s clear that you don’t even have an open enough mind to try to do something other than diminish and invalidate your daughter’s perspective.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “Her therapist has spent years studying this and has her degree. This is her profession and area of expertise. Stop making this about you, and if you can’t, maybe it’s time for you to go to a therapist yourself. Your behavior may have lost you your daughter, but if it hasn’t, you should be grateful.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “BPD is a trauma response. It sounds like you contributed to your daughter’s trauma. And now a therapist was trying to help both of you. But instead of facing some hard truths and working on yourself, you threw a tantrum and left.”