In this compelling family drama, the Original Poster (OP) grapples with her daughter Nicole’s abrupt transition from a high-achieving student to a young woman battling depression and making life-changing decisions. As Nicole announces her decision to drop out of college, embrace a newfound love in a long-distance relationship, and ultimately relocate, the mother-daughter relationship is thrown into turmoil. In the climactic turn, OP finds herself in a fierce conflict, torn between her protective instincts and the necessity to respect Nicole’s independence, leaving readers on the edge of their seats, awaiting the story’s resolution.
A Time of Change
OP, a mother of two, reveals her oldest child Nicole’s transition from a bright, ambitious student into a young woman grappling with depression. Suddenly Nicole drops out of college, citing unmanageable stress and depression that she’d been silently dealing with for years.
A New Path
At twenty-one years old, Nicole secures a full-time job and begins to express a newfound happiness and satisfaction in her life. This unexpected shift in direction leaves OP torn between relief that Nicole seems happier and disappointment that her daughter is abandoning her academic aspirations.
Love from Afar
During a visit, Nicole confides in OP about her romantic relationship with a woman she had met online and visited without her family’s knowledge. The truth of Nicole’s sexuality and her secretive trip across the country to meet her online lover shocks OP.
Support Amidst Surprise
Despite her shock and anger, OP decides to support her daughter in her new relationship, thankful that it all worked out okay and she returned safely. However, this new acceptance of Nicole’s love life doesn’t erase her worries and fears.
Struggle to Let Go
OP acknowledges the struggle of letting go and allowing change as an inevitable part of parenthood. She is not very familiar with the LGBTQ+ community but is willing to learn and be accepting on account of her daughter.
The Decision to Move
Nicole reveals her plan to relocate within a year due to changes in her girlfriend’s living situation. She intends to move several states away to Washington, which shocks OP and sparks a significant conflict as they argue about what’s best for Nicole.
An Appeal to Stay
OP vehemently opposes her daughter’s decision to move, arguing that she’s too young to be so far from family. In addition, OP argues that she should not move in with someone that she has only been dating for a few months.
The Family Struggle
This opposition causes friction between the mother-daughter pair. Nicole feels restricted and unable to truly be herself in her hometown, which she has grown to despise. OP does not think her daughter is old enough or mature enough for such a big move for love.
Nicole is financially independent, showing her strength and self-reliance. The fact that she has largely supported herself without assistance from her family adds a new layer to the conflict, as it undermines OP’s belief in her immaturity.
A Looming Question
OP is left questioning if she’s wrong for opposing Nicole’s decision to move so far away. While not bringing resolution, this introspection marks a potential turning point in OP’s perspective. OP wants to remain in her daughter’s life, even if she doesn’t approve of her relocating.
Her increasing independence underscores Nicole’s decision to move, and her need to establish her own life. She clarifies to OP that her desire to move isn’t solely based on her girlfriend but on her longstanding ambition to relocate.
Washington, where her girlfriend lives, is one of the states the daughter was considering relocating to anyway. When she visited her girlfriend for the first time, she fell in love with the mountains, the ocean, and the lifestyle.
OP’s Struggle to Let Go
OP struggles to let go of her perceived control over Nicole’s life. As her mother, OP has a hard time with Nicole venturing out on her own and dealing with the reality of her growing independence when all her family is at home.
Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback and advice. The readers in the community forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “It seems like you don’t know much about your daughter’s personal life. And that’s okay because she doesn’t need to share; she’s not a teen living under your roof. The more you butt in and tell her what she can and can’t do as an adult, the less you’ll see her.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “It’s a shame that you weren’t close enough to get to see that she was depressed when you thought she was all good, but keeping her close won’t make up for that. Fully embrace and support her because it sounds like she’s happy; stay on her good side, and hopefully, she will bring you along in her new life.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “Your daughter is twenty-one and already living on her own. She’s happy and excited about the direction her life is going. If things don’t work out with the girlfriend, it still sounds like she’s capable of taking care of herself.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader replied, “Her moving in with someone after a few months is scary. It may not work out. But she’s an adult, and she’s young. Maybe it works out for her; if it doesn’t, she’ll learn from it. As a parent, you sometimes have to let go and let them figure things out.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.