The Original Poster (OP), an 18-year-old girl, finds herself clashing with her mother, whose need for connection materializes as persistent interruptions. The conflict escalates to a tipping point when an innocent bump in the kitchen leads to a minor cut, sparking a furious outburst from OP.
OP, an 18-year-old female, has a strict and predictable morning routine due to her ADHD. Her routine involves preparing lunch for her job at 9:55 AM, a task she takes a maximum of 10 minutes to complete. However, her mother consistently chooses the same time to do her chores in the kitchen, leading to crowding and inconvenience in the small kitchen.
Despite the kitchen being small, OP’s mother insists on carrying out her tasks at the same time as OP, which causes numerous inconveniences. Notably, she often blocks access to cupboards or bumps into OP. OP’s attempts to ask her mother to wait until she’s done have been met with accusations of “ordering her around.”
The Accidental Cut
One day, while OP was cutting vegetables, her mother bumped into her, resulting in a small cut on OP’s finger. Frustrated by the constant interference, OP snapped at her mother, blaming her for the accident. This led to her parents labeling the OP as “rude” while her sister supported her.
The Unchanging Pattern
OP attempts to alter her routine by preparing her lunch at different times, even the night before. However, her mother continues to follow her into the kitchen, regardless of when she goes in. This persistent pattern leaves OP perplexed and frustrated.
A Trial of Patience
Taking advice from online comments, OP adopts a new strategy: she goes into the kitchen as usual but leaves when her mother gets in her way. However, even after ensuring the kitchen is spotless the night before, her mother continues to follow her into the kitchen. Each time OP steps out to give her mother space, her mother claims she is done, only to follow OP back in, alleging she’d forgotten to do something.
The OP considers that her mother might just want to spend time with her. Reflecting on this, OP recognizes her recent milestones—getting a job, finishing high school, and working towards a driver’s license—may have made her mother feel her growing independence. This leads OP to believe her mother is seeking more time with her before she moves out.
The Leftovers Solution
OP tests a new approach: she asks her mother to pack dinner leftovers for her lunch the next day. This request is met with enthusiasm from her mother, who happily obliges. To OP’s relief, her mother does not follow her into the kitchen the next morning.
A Sticky Note of Peace
OP finds a sticky note with a smiley face left by her mother on the lunch container. This gesture, combined with her mother’s absence from the kitchen that morning, hints at a potential resolution to their conflict. It seems her mother’s desire to be needed was met through OP’s request for help with her lunch.
A Drive to Connect
Further seeking to connect with her mother, OP asks her to drive her to work. This request offers an opportunity for them to chat and catch up outside the tension-filled kitchen environment. This time spent together seems to further ease the conflict between them.
Unveiling the Real Issue
OP surmises that her mother’s actions were driven by her need to feel needed. As OP grows more independent, her mother struggles with her newly found independence.
The Growing Up Dilemma
This transition seems to trigger her mother’s clinginess as she grapples with the reality of OP needing her less. This insight reveals a deeper emotional layer to their conflict. Understanding her mother’s feelings, OP begins to find ways to reassure her mother of her continued need for her.
Rebuilding the Connection
OP starts to include her mother in more parts of her life, bridging the emotional gap that was widening between them. The kitchen encounters reduce, leading to a more peaceful coexistence.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Oh heavens, this is an unexpected and totally sweet conclusion.”
Another responder wrote: “I’m so glad that this situation got sorted out and has such a wholesome ending. Communication is important in every relationship, but it always seems to be the one thing people don’t too until it’s too late.”
A Different Perspective
A different person states, “It’s enough to make a grown man cry.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
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The original poster of the story, a 29-year-old man, had a series of conflicts with his mother-in-law that threatened to ruin his marriage.
Josh is a financial expert with over 15 years of experience on Wall Street as a senior market strategist and trader. His career has spanned from working on the New York Stock Exchange floor to investment management and portfolio trading at Citibank, Chicago Trading Company, and Flow Traders.
Josh graduated from Cornell University with a degree from the Dyson School of Applied Economics & Management at the SC Johnson College of Business. He has held multiple professional licenses during his career, including FINRA Series 3, 7, 24, 55, Nasdaq OMX, Xetra & Eurex (German), and SIX (Swiss) trading licenses. Josh served as a senior trader and strategist, business partner, and head of futures in his former roles on Wall Street.
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