The Original Poster (OP), a mother of two young children, finds herself at a crossroads with her husband over-selling their properties to purchase a dream family home. As she battles the confines of apartment living during the pandemic, her husband’s unexpected decision throws a wrench into their plans. With family dynamics and investment properties on the line, the couple grapples with a heart-wrenching dilemma that could redefine their future.
OP, a 36-year-old woman, has been married to her husband of the same age for three years. Both were married previously to other people in their 20s. Those relationships didn’t work out in the long run or produce children.
Together, the couple has two young children: a nine-month-old daughter and a two-year-old son. They both worked full-time before having their children, and OP took maternity leave and has since been the primary caregiver.
The Property Puzzle
OP has three properties from before their marriage, with a mortgage on only one. The other two properties she rents out for a lucrative monthly income. She hopes to save enough to buy another investment property one day.
OP’s husband has one property, also with a mortgage, that he used to live in with his ex-wife before they divorced. The couple resides in one of OP’s paid-off apartments, sharing living expenses.
The Cramped Apartment
As the pandemic ensues and their children grow more active, living in an apartment becomes increasingly challenging. OP sometimes finds herself confined indoors for days without stepping outside.
A Mutual Decision
OP’s husband suggests they find a spacious house for the family. They come to an agreement: both would sell one investment property each to finance this new home. Soon, OP stumbles upon the perfect house in an ideal location.
The Perfect Find
Although the price is slightly high for the new house due to the upscale neighborhood it’s located in, selling their two properties would cover most of the cost, requiring only a minimal loan they could easily afford. However, OP’s husband unexpectedly changes his stance.
A Sudden Shift
OP’s husband decides against selling his property, wanting to preserve it for their children’s future inheritance. The new arrangement would see OP and her husband co-own one property while OP retains full ownership of her two other properties.
The children’s inheritance and well-being are pivotal points in their disagreement. But OP’s husband, absent from home for nearly 12 hours daily, doesn’t face the daily challenges OP does with their children in the cramped apartment.
A New Proposal
OP’s husband proposes building a new house on his property, but this idea doesn’t sit well with OP. OP dislikes that the location of his property is right next to his parents, fearing the pressure from her in-laws’ interference in day-to-day living.
OP feels cheated as her husband’s promise was made during their house-hunting phase, which was then theoretical. OP believes her husband is prioritizing his investment property and his parents over the comfort and well-being of his own family.
OP reflects on the initial agreement she made with her husband and feels let down by his sudden change of heart, which went against their mutual decision. The children, unaware of the underlying tensions, have needs central to the debate.
OP remains firm in her stance. She believes the family’s immediate needs should take precedence over future inheritance considerations. The couple’s disagreement grows deeper, with both parties entrenched in their respective positions.
The Big Question
Amidst the property debates and family dynamics, one question lingers in OP’s mind: Is she wrong for feeling her husband is prioritizing his investments and parents over the immediate needs of his family?
Was The Wife’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “If he wants to be part owner of the new house, he has to pay. If he refuses to, maybe sell your property and move into a slightly smaller house with just you and the kids. He can stay at the small apartment.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “Do people think that if they marry selfish people who lack empathy, they will change once kids come along? He is selfish. He doesn’t care what it’s like for you and the kids. He just wants to keep everything he has and possibly be a hero to the kids in 20 years?”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “I don’t understand the argument you’re having. If he wants to share the deed to the new house, he needs to match the funds you put up, and it sounds like he doesn’t otherwise have that much unless he sells?”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “I suspect that her in-laws got involved and told him not to sell his property since OP isn’t selling all of her properties. Hubby not selling his property is not terrible, but not communicating clearly his intentions has impacted what OP was planning.”
Showdown at 40,000 Feet When Passenger Refuses to Move Up Her Reclined Seat in Economy.