When the Original Poster (OP) makes lifestyle changes for health reasons, she inadvertently disrupts the fit of her Maid of Honor (MOH) dress for her friend Amy’s wedding. Despite a last-minute fix involving safety pins, the situation explodes into an uncomfortable confrontation between OP and the bride. While other bridesmaids look on awkwardly, the friendship hangs by a thread, leaving us to wonder: who is at fault?
A Doctor’s Warning
In August, OP goes to the doctor and learns her cholesterol is high. At just 28, she decides to take action by eating better and walking three times a week. This lifestyle change leads to unexpected but significant weight loss.
The Bride’s Request
During a February visit to Illinois, OP tries on her MOH dress for her friend Amy’s wedding. Amy asks OP not to lose any more weight before the wedding and even keeps the dress for safekeeping. OP agrees noncommittally.
Due to her weight loss, OP finds that her MOH dress needs extensive tailoring. She covers the cost of the alterations. Amy seems content that the dress will fit OP for the wedding day, and all is well again for now.
The Routine Continues
Despite Amy’s request, OP continues her healthier lifestyle, exercising and eating right. This results in her losing additional weight, but she hopes and believes her dress can be easily adjusted.
A Quick Fix
On the day of the wedding, OP discovers her MOH dress is loose. Amy’s mom comes to the rescue and temporarily fixes the problem with some pins. Despite the pinning solution, Amy pulls OP aside.
The Bride’s Frustrations
Amy openly expresses her frustration that OP didn’t maintain her weight to fit the dress, making her worry on her own wedding day. She thought that of all people, OP should be making things easier on her rather than more difficult.
Uncomfortable Bridal Party
The other bridesmaids witness the confrontation and feel uneasy amid all the tension. No one else among the ten bridesmaids has any fit issues with their dresses. They all maintained relatively healthy and stable weights.
Amy’s sister tries to defuse the tension by telling OP that Amy is just stressed because it’s her big day. Amy gives OP the cold shoulder throughout the entire wedding event, interacting with her only during the MOH speech.
The Speech Moment
During her MOH speech, OP senses a brief thaw in Amy’s demeanor. However, this is short-lived, and the atmosphere quickly returns to its icy state. A couple of days after the wedding, OP wishes Amy a fun honeymoon, but Amy doesn’t respond to the message.
A Florida-Illinois Gap
OP, a Florida resident, contemplates the distance between her and Amy, both physical and emotional. She had visited Amy in Illinois to try on the dress but couldn’t foresee the fallout. She thought she was putting in enough effort to support the bride.
The Doctor’s Advice Revisited
OP mentally revisits her doctor’s advice to manage her cholesterol. She had initiated the lifestyle changes for health reasons, not to cause stress for Amy. OP spent money on tailoring the MOH dress to make it fit for Amy’s big day, but it wasn’t enough.
Pins and Needles
Amy’s mom’s quick fix with pins serves as a metaphor for the delicate state of OP’s relationship with Amy. While the pins held the dress in place, they couldn’t keep the friendship from unraveling.
Days pass with no word from Amy. OP can’t help but think about how things took such an unfortunate turn during what should have been a joyful occasion. As the silence stretches on, OP is left to wonder if she is the one at fault.
Was The Bridesmaid’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “Part of me wonders if the bride wanted you heavier so she would look good by comparison. It’s truly sad how often something like that comes up, but it does. Good on you for being healthy.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “All you owe is gratitude to the mom. Thank her mother profusely for taking extra time with you on an already stressful day. Then, stop worrying about it. You’ve really done nothing wrong here.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “All she had to do was send the dress with you, tell you that you were responsible for making sure it fit/getting it altered if necessary closer to the wedding date, and then have a steamer on hand the day of so that people could steam out their dresses from travel.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “Your health comes first, always. The fact that you’re committed to taking care of yourself and have built these habits is awesome. And you are right: the crisis (if you can even call it that) was averted. Everything worked out fine.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.