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Daughter Refused to Listen To Her Mom’s Driving Advice, But When She Bumps Into the Neighbor’s Vehicle, Her Mother Teaches Her a Lesson She Would Never Forget.

In a tug-of-war between discipline and freedom, the Original Poster (OP) grapples with her 18-year-old daughter’s driving aspirations amidst rising behavioral concerns. As the daughter’s driving permit expiry date looms, OP’s ultimatum forces a high-stakes negotiation – behavior improvement in exchange for continued driving lessons. When a minor car accident throws a wrench into their already tense relationship, will their bond survive the test of patience, respect, and life’s lessons?

Learning to Drive

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OP has an 18-year-old daughter who is currently learning how to drive. She’s midway through the process, having had her permit for three months out of the state-required six-month maximum. Her enthusiasm for driving is palpable as she sees it as a ticket to her freedom.

State Rules

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In OP’s state, the driving process for those above 18 involves a written test and holding a permit for at least 30 days or at most six months. This has put a timeline on OP’s daughter’s journey to learn to drive. She is currently in the third month of this process.

Behavior Problems

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However, OP has started noticing certain behavioral issues with her daughter that concern her. The daughter disregards OP’s worries, seems emotionally volatile, and is indifferent to her parents’ feelings.

Social Skills

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image credit: dean-drobot/shutterstock

The daughter’s social skills are also a point of contention. Her inability to reciprocate basic social gestures like smiling back at people who greet her at church has raised eyebrows. This further intensifies the difficulties between her and OP.

Skipping Christmas

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Adding to the tension is the daughter’s expressed desire to skip Christmas Eve with the family because of work. This, to OP, exhibits an unsettling level of pride and lack of respect toward family obligations.

Setting the Terms

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OP lays down an ultimatum for her daughter: improve her behavior or halt driving lessons. The ticking clock of her soon-to-expire driving permit adds pressure to this situation. The daughter’s driving aspirations are now tied to her conduct.

The Suggestion

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The daughter offers to have her phone taken away instead, emphasizing how important driving is to her. She perceives driving as her only chance at freedom and is willing to negotiate to protect it.

Prioritizing Respect

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OP, however, firmly believes that respect and character are more important than learning to drive. She tries to impart these values to her daughter, tying them to her driving lessons. The driving lessons now represent a bigger life lesson.

The Accident

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OP’s daughter accidentally bumps into a neighbor’s car while practicing driving. The incident, though minor, sparks heightened tension in the family. This incident provides a stark reminder of the importance of discipline and responsibility in driving.

The Consequences

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The minor accident causes a major rift between the neighbors and OP’s family. The daughter’s defensive reaction to the accident only exacerbates her existing behavioral issues. The family’s reputation and harmony are at stake.

News Spreads

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News of the accident and ensuing discord spreads in their community, further complicating the situation. The church community begins to pass judgment, putting additional strain on OP and her daughter.

The Lost Job

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The daughter loses her job due to her inability to drive to work. This further exacerbates her feeling of entrapment and heightens her desire to learn to drive. Her loss amplifies the importance of her driving aspirations.

The Showdown

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With increased tension and the permit expiry date looming, OP and her daughter have a showdown. They air their grievances, with the daughter pleading for her driving lessons to continue.

Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP posts her story online for feedback. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “It doesn’t sound like you’re treating her with much respect either. I mean, really, not smiling at church? Is that something worth punishing for?”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “Instead of preparing your child to be an independent adult, you are controlling every aspect of her life right down to her facial expressions.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “Trying to keep your kids under your thumb will only backfire. You think depriving them of their freedom will teach them values. Instead, it will teach them to lie and manipulate to get what they need from you and others.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “Stop treating her like a child, and try negotiating with her instead of threatening or trying to discipline her.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.

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