When the Original Poster (OP) took on the chore of doing her partner’s laundry, she didn’t expect the subtle nuances of a single outfit to become a point of contention. As summer approached and her partner’s recent weight gain limited his work attire to just one fitting set, daily laundry became an almost inescapable reality. When OP finally addresses the clothing issue, a deeper emotional struggle surfaces, changing the dynamics of their relationship.
Setting the Ground Rules
OP, a 31-year-old woman, manages finances and chores with her 33-year-old boyfriend in a way that works for them. She earns less than he does, and so she pays a smaller portion of the rent. In return, she’s taken on the task of doing his laundry, an arrangement she proposed and enjoys.
A Singular Outfit Dilemma
The main issue arises from her partner having just one set of work clothes that fit him currently. He’s recently put on weight, leaving him with only one work outfit option. The changing seasons make daily laundry a near necessity.
The Burden of Daily Tasks
Summer is upon them, and the thought of doing laundry daily is unappealing to OP. She contemplates the sustainability of this situation. Is her request for him to invest in more work clothes justified?
Hopes of Weight Loss
OP’s boyfriend remains optimistic about fitting back into his old work clothes. He constantly mentions his plans to shed weight, but months have passed without tangible results. Yet, OP’s concerns are met with defensiveness.
OP’s boyfriend has always identified as a fit and thin man, often judging those who let themselves go. So now that the tables have turned, he has a hard time wrapping his brain around his new look and the identity and judgment that he attaches to it.
OP tries to lend her support by suggesting going to the gym together for weight training or going for walks after work to build up their heart rates and burn fat, but her boyfriend always has an excuse and puts everything off for ‘tomorrow.’
The Diet Initiative
OP starts preparing lean meals with weight loss in mind. She prepares grilled lean meats, roasted vegetables, and brown rice for dinner. The boyfriend appreciates her efforts but doesn’t see the pounds coming off.
Avoiding the Weighty Issue
OP clarifies that her issue isn’t her boyfriend’s weight gain but the constant need for laundry. She wants this to revolve around something other than body image. It’s about practicality and efficiency in her daily routine.
The Big Question
OP wonders whether she is wrong for wanting him to buy more work outfits. She knows it’s triggering for him and would force him to acknowledge that his current weight might not be so temporary. It’s a delicate situation, balancing practical needs with personal sensitivities.
OP approaches her partner for a conversation, bringing up the clothing issue once more, treading carefully. Together, they venture to a thrift store, searching for a temporary solution. Their efforts are partially successful as they find a second outfit.
A Deeper Understanding
During their outing, it becomes clear that the reluctance to buy new clothes was rooted in his insecurities about weight gain. The clothes were merely a manifestation of a more profound emotional struggle. He acknowledges OP’s support and is thankful for her understanding and patience.
Moving Forward Together
OP and her partner make a pact to continue searching for more outfits. They are hopeful and determined to find more practical solutions together. They discuss donating the outfits to the thrift store once he achieves his weight loss goals.
The couple contemplates sharing the laundry duty, easing the burden on OP. They realize that teamwork can make their daily routines smoother. As days pass, the couple finds a way that works for them.
Was The Girlfriend’s Behavior Appropriate?
Seeking external perspectives, OP posts her story online for feedback and perspective. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “If he refuses to buy more clothes, he can wash his own clothes on the days you wouldn’t normally do the laundry.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “Not only is laundry a pain but washing the same clothes daily will make them look old in no time. He needs more clothes to rotate so they last. Otherwise, he won’t have anything to wear.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “He earns enough money to buy a couple of outfits for now to make things more comfortable and professional, even if he intends to fit into his old clothes again in a few months.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “He doesn’t want to buy more clothes because he isn’t willing to admit he’s gained weight. While we can all sympathize, his actions affect you, not just him. It’s unreasonable to do laundry every day.”