The Original Poster (OP) is embroiled in a family conflict over a remote Canadian cottage that holds sentimental value for her husband but has only given her distressing experiences. Now, her husband wants to take their toddler son on a solo trip to this far-off retreat, raising issues of consent and child safety. As tensions escalate, OP is faced with a pressing ethical dilemma: Should she allow her husband to take their son to a place that has been a consistent source of anxiety for her?
The Remote Cottage Plan
OP’s husband wants to take their two-year-old son to a remote Canadian cottage. This cottage is located on an island, a lengthy journey away from their U.S. home, involving multiple modes of transportation. The idea brings OP considerable stress and anxiety.
An Unforgettable Journey
To reach the cottage, one must take a five-hour flight, a three-hour car drive, and a 30-minute ferry ride. This arduous, lengthy trip presents logistical concerns, especially with a toddler. OP is wary of the journey’s complexity.
The Cold Shower
OP recalls a previous stay at the cottage with no hot shower water for five days. Basic amenities are often missing, and it seems every trip has its share of challenges. These experiences have been far from comfortable for OP.
A Bat Encounter
On another trip, OP was exposed to bats in the sleeping quarters. This led to a detour to New York for rabies vaccinations. The incident adds to the long list of unsettling events tied to the cottage.
Powerless and Poisoned
On yet another occasion, the power was lost, and the water was unfiltered from the lake. This resulted in OP getting food poisoning. Unreliable utilities have made the cottage a stressful getaway.
OP tells her husband she can only stand two nights at the cottage next year rather than the usual five. Despite his fond memories of the place, OP has her limits. The house has always been a source of intense anxiety for her.
Caring for a toddler who doesn’t sleep through the night adds another layer of complexity to the cottage stays. His sleep patterns make it even harder for OP to cope with the stressful environment.
A Special Place
The cottage holds sentimental value for OP’s husband and is filled with memories from his childhood. This emotional connection adds pressure on OP to try and enjoy the place. However, she finds it increasingly difficult to do so.
The Husband’s Efforts
Aware of OP’s discomfort, the husband has been attempting to improve the cottage. Despite these efforts, OP still finds the place exceedingly uncomfortable. The problems seem to persist, regardless of the fixes.
The Unilateral Decision
OP’s husband threatens to take their young son to the cottage without her. This action shocks OP, as she has never considered taking their son anywhere without mutual agreement. It’s an alarming deviation from their usual decision-making process.
The husband plans to take their son to another country to the remote location of the cottage. OP worries about their son’s unique fear of bugs, even flies, screaming and crying when one comes near. How will he react to the natural setting of the cottage?
The Sleep Issue
The son also has trouble sleeping through the night. OP is concerned about how he will adjust to a new, stressful environment, especially without her there to comfort him. She would not be able to sleep either, knowing he was in distress.
No Toddler’s Consent
OP points out that their son is too young to give consent to such a trip. She finds it unfair that he should be subjected to a potentially frightening experience against his will. OP confronts her husband, stating that she won’t allow him to take their son.
Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP wonders if she’s the antagonist for not allowing her husband to take their son to the cottage without her consent. She posts her story online for feedback and judgment. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “This is not a safe place for a two-year-old. Period. If your husband wants to make this the family getaway every year, he needs to get off his butt and put some energy into fixing the place first.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “It’s a remote island cabin. If something goes wrong, help is not getting there in time. OP doesn’t fully trust his judgment when something might be going wrong with the kid.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “If anything goes wrong, there’s no way they’re getting medical attention in less than an hour, and the cabin has bats and unclean water. Not a suitable or safe place for a toddler.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “The multiple incidences of guests at this cottage needing rabies shots due to contact with bats, the unfiltered water, and the remote location make this appropriate for adults and older kids only. A toddler can’t tell an adult if a bat landed on him or accurately describe symptoms of illness. These are legitimate safety concerns.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.