While navigating a taxing career as a pediatrician, the Original Poster (OP) grapples with the unexpected responsibility of tending to her injured husband’s whims. As his seemingly trivial demands escalate, tensions flare when the topic of hiring a professional caregiver is broached, revealing deep-seated expectations and vulnerabilities within their relationship.
A Harmless Prank Gone Wrong
While on his uncle’s farm, OP’s husband, along with his cousin, decided to pull off some pranks. Unfortunately, these pranks took a turn for the worse, resulting in a severe accident. OP’s husband was left incapacitated, unable to move without the help of crutches.
The Doctor and Her Patient
OP is a pediatrician, juggling her demanding job with the sudden responsibility of caring for her injured husband. The balance is challenging, and as time passes, the strain starts to show. Her husband’s constant needs and her medical duties become a taxing combination.
An Unending List of Needs
The husband’s demands seem never to cease. He often asks OP for seemingly trivial tasks, tasks he should be capable of handling even with his injury. From fetching juice to charging his phone, the list keeps growing.
Drawing the Line
OP tries to set boundaries, asserting that she’d only help with essential tasks like bathing and feeding. However, even these lines blur, and her husband’s continuous requests begin to negatively impact her professional life.
Seeking Outside Help
OP suggests getting a family member to assist with her husband’s care while she’s at work. The husband’s reaction is far from supportive. Instead of understanding, he rejects the idea outright, not wanting anyone but her to help him when he is so vulnerable.
The Lasagna Incident
One day, amidst her busy schedule, OP’s husband calls her during her shift, urging her to come home. Thinking it’s an emergency, she obliges, only to find that he wants her to make lasagna. This is the breaking point for OP.
A Suggestion Met with Resistance
Seeing the increasing demands, OP suggests hiring a professional caregiver to look after her husband, even offering to cover the costs. Again, her husband dismisses the idea, stating he doesn’t need one.
Accusations and Hurt
Their discussions turn into disputes. The husband accuses OP of not caring for his well-being and prioritizing her job over him. He claims he’d go to greater lengths for her if the roles were reversed.
Enter the Mother-in-Law
The husband’s mother joins the fray, expressing her dissatisfaction with OP’s idea of hiring a caregiver. She accuses OP of treating her son like a child, equating a caregiver to a mere babysitter.
The mother-in-law continues her critique, sarcastically commenting on OP’s potential future parenting skills. She suggests that if OP ever has children, she’d just let babysitters raise them instead of doing the hard work herself.
The Role of a Working Wife
The argument shifts to OP’s role as a wife. The mother-in-law implies that, as a wife, OP should take care of her husband, pointing out how he took care of their home when OP was busy working.
The Societal Pressure
During the disagreement, the mother-in-law mentions the potential backlash OP could face from others. She hints that their community might deem OP a “bad wife” if she decides to get a paid caregiver for her husband.
Defending Her Stance
OP tries to make her point clear, emphasizing that her husband is relying on her for tasks he could very well handle himself. She argues that hiring a caregiver doesn’t indicate neglect but is instead a practical solution.
The Weight of Expectations
The pressure and expectations from her husband and his mother weigh heavily on OP. They see her duty as a wife to be above all else, even her demanding job, which she attended many years of school to be specially trained for.
The Bitter Irony
OP’s husband’s accident stems from a prank, a moment of careless fun. Now, the aftermath of that fleeting moment is tearing their relationship apart, with OP caught in the crossfire of responsibilities.
A Doctor’s Dilemma
OP is torn between her commitment to her patients and her duty towards her husband. While she wishes to provide him with the best care, his continuous demands and the subsequent disagreements strain their relationship.
Throughout the ordeal, OP seeks understanding and support. She hopes that her husband and his mother can see her perspective, understanding the stress she’s under and the balance she’s trying to maintain.
Between Duty and Love
OP is caught in a dilemma, torn between her duty as a pediatrician and her love for her husband. While she’s willing to go to lengths for his well-being, the continuous demands and criticisms test the strength of their bond.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online, hoping for validation and support from strangers on the internet because she’s not finding it at home. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “It’s weird how working is treated like such a bad thing in his family. How can you provide for both of you if you are at home working hard to fulfill all his stupid requests?”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “You have no time to decompress and deal with the constant pressure of caring for others. Is he supporting you? Is he giving you the time to resolve the conflict you’re facing at work or helping you in other ways? No.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “He can stay with his mom during his recovery since he hurt himself and now wants to be babied. Mom feels strongly that he should be babied so she can be the one to do it.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “To go from a high-stress job of caring for people to going home and not being able to stop because you have to care for basically a child. I’m sorry, but I would find someone who can care for his needs.”