In a struggle for independence, the Original Poster (OP) rejects her father’s conditional college fund to finance her own education, choosing debt over control. Her bold declaration of this decision at a family gathering leaves her extended family stunned and her relationship with her father hanging in the balance.
The OP is concerned about relying on her father to pay for college. Her father’s strict and overbearing requirements — including maintaining nothing below a ‘B’ grade, pre-approving all classes, and weekly discussions about grades — create a high-pressure environment. According to the OP, her father also has an aggressive temper which can make these conditions unbearable.
Toxic School Years
OP recalled her troubling middle and high school years when she was constantly stressed about grades, often getting unjustly berated or grounded. Instances of her father’s intrusive behavior, like randomly searching her backpack and locker “to make sure I’m not hiding anything,” compound her trauma.
A Leap of Independence
Deciding she’d rather be in debt than be controlled, OP takes the bold step of paying for her college tuition herself. She values her peace of mind more than her father’s money, fearing that his capricious nature might lead to him discontinuing support at any point.
First Year Triumph
OP successfully completes her first year of college, navigating her courses and managing her finances without her father’s assistance. The accomplishment validates her decision to break free from her father’s control.
A family gathering over school break sets the stage for a confrontation. As OP’s relatives discuss her cousin’s college education, her uncle casually asks her father about the cost of OP’s schooling. The question catches everyone off-guard, sparking tension in the room.
Unveiling the Truth
OP boldly corrects her uncle’s assumption, declaring that she is the one paying for her own education. Her declaration leaves her family surprised and confused, casting a shadow over the gathering. This revelation adds a twist to the story, revealing the secret OP had been carrying.
A Father’s Fury
After the gathering, OP’s father expresses his anger, saying that her revelation was out of line and had embarrassed him. He berates her for publicly undermining him, displaying his temper once again.
In response, OP defends her actions, asserting that she did not mean to embarrass him but was merely being honest. She points out the absurdity of asking him about her tuition costs when he doesn’t even know the amount.
OP’s commitment to independence means confronting the hardships of self-financed education. The financial burden starts to press heavily on her, but she still considers it better than living under her father’s control.
The Silent Treatment
After the revelation, OP’s father distances himself, veiling his anger with cold silence. The lack of communication creates an uncomfortable atmosphere in their home, making OP question the repercussions of her action.
OP struggles with the cold war at home, torn between standing her ground and appeasing her father. She misses the peace but remembers the toll her father’s control had on her mental health. The twist comes when she starts considering a drastic decision to resolve the ongoing conflict.
A Bold Consideration
OP contemplates moving out of her father’s house to fully embrace her independence. She realizes that this step could further strain their relationship, but she yearns for a stress-free environment to focus on her studies.
Confronting the Beast
Plagued by the tension at home, OP decides to confront her father about his behavior and her thoughts of moving out. She readies herself for a heated discussion, unsure of how he’ll react to her decision. This confrontation sets the stage for a potential resolution or escalation of their conflict.
What Should The Woman Do?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Your dad is embarrassed because he wanted the social cache of paying for his kid’s college, and he lost that with your answer.”
Another responder wrote: “It’s embarrassing to him that you hate his control so much you’d turn down college being paid. And rightly so, he should be embarrassed.”
A Different Perspective
A different person states, “You are paying for it. If that bothers him, he’s welcome to write the school bursar a check.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
More From Top Dollar
In a community terrorized by the iron-fisted rule of an oppressive HOA president, a man decides to challenge her authority and fight her outrageous rules.
More From Top Dollar
Wild jobs that pay way more than they ought to.
More From Top Dollar
The original poster of the story, a 29-year-old man, had a series of conflicts with his mother-in-law that threatened to ruin his marriage.
Alex is a writer for Top Dollar Investor, focusing on lifestyle, travel, and business stories. Alex has started several online businesses and is a blogger who loves providing quality content to help others. He is passionate about affiliate marketing, finance, and cryptocurrency.