The Original Poster (OP) recounts a brewing conflict between her two daughters over a wedding dress code. As the younger daughter, Alex, takes a bold step in personal expression on her sister Ashley’s big day, the stage is set for a showdown that threatens to overshadow the wedding itself.
The Age Gap
OP introduces her two daughters, Ashley and Alex, noting that their age difference often drives a wedge between them. While Ashley is 26, Alex is only 15. This age difference has caused some friction in the past.
Bridging the Gap
Recently, Ashley extended an olive branch to Alex by letting her help plan the wedding. This was a significant step towards bridging the gap between them. The gesture hinted at a potential thawing of their relationship.
In preparation for the formal wedding, both Ashley and OP went shopping. They purchased long dresses, with Alex choosing a sage green one for the occasion. The choice seemed suitable for the event.
A Surprising Alteration
On the day of the wedding, Alex came downstairs wearing her sage green dress but with a drastic alteration: a bold slit that reached up to her thigh. Her style of dressing always leaned towards emo, and today was no exception. She accessorized the dress with a skull necklace, punk rock boots, and dark makeup.
OP’s Concerns Surface
Taken aback by Alex’s alterations and additions, OP voiced her concerns. She asked her to remove the skull-themed jewelry and handed over the dress so OP could modify the slit to make it more conservative. Alex, however, felt her dress was still within the prescribed dress code.
A Stalemate Emerges
The mother-daughter duo reached a screeching halt. OP insisted that Alex would stand out in her current attire, and Alex stood her ground.
In a bid to ensure the wedding remained undisturbed, OP laid down an ultimatum. If Alex refused to make changes to her outfit, she would have to stay home and miss the wedding. Alex, stubborn and defiant, refused to budge.
A Sister’s Absence
Ashley’s wedding went ahead without Alex. While Ashley understood the reasons behind her sister’s absence, the void was obvious.
A Husband’s Fury
OP’s husband was not pleased with the day’s events. He was livid that OP had barred Alex from attending the wedding. Accusations flew, and the word “jerk” was thrown around.
The Silent Treatment
Post-wedding, the rift between OP and Alex deepened. Alex refused to communicate with her mother, further exacerbating the tensions. The house was filled with a chilling silence.
Reflections on Choices
As days passed, OP grappled with the aftermath of the wedding day. Questions about whether she made the right call played on her mind.
Seeking to mend fences, Ashley approached her younger sister. She empathized with both Alex’s desire to express herself and OP’s wish to maintain decorum. A delicate dance of mediation began.
An Olive Branch Snapped
Attempts to bridge the divide proved fruitless initially. Alex’s resentment ran deep, and the memories of the missed wedding were still fresh.
Was Refusing To Let Her Daughter Attend Her Other Daughter’s Wedding Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “A wedding event is not a time and place to express yourself. You were looking out for the bride/your daughter.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “That’s attention seeking if not downright malicious. Also, most importantly, the bride is glad you made this decision. The consequences might be tough to deal with, but you did the right thing.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “You could’ve compromised on smaller jewelry or something, but I don’t think not letting your fifteen-year-old show a whole wedding her underwear because her dress is slit up so high makes you the bad guy.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “She can be an attention-seeking fool once she is an independent adult who has figured out her own means of transportation. She wants to “win” an argument by missing the wedding. What is more important than taking off her huge skull necklace? Give me a break.”