The journey of the Original Poster (OP) is marked by the tumultuous relationship between her ex-husband and their three children, particularly around the financial decisions made after their split. As tensions rise over a significant inheritance and withheld financial information, family bonds are tested to the brink, leaving readers to wonder if they’ll ever find unity again.
Dreaming of Three
OP and her ex-husband always dreamed of having three children together. However, as they were expecting their third child, he drastically changed his mind. He even proposed the unthinkable: giving the baby up for adoption.
The Heartbreaking Ultimatum
Her ex-husband demanded a divorce and wished to share custody of only their older two children, Sam and Beth. He expressed no interest in their youngest, Ann, whom OP refused to give up. This deepened the rift between the two parents.
The Court Steps In
The court’s decision was clear: her ex-husband was ordered to support all three children, especially Ann. Despite his attempt to avoid this by changing careers, he was mandated to pay based on his previous income, providing stability for his children.
Two Dads, One Void
To Sam and Beth, their biological father remained ever-present and involved. But he continued to avoid any relationship with Ann. However, OP found love again and married a man who cherished all three children as his own.
With the financial support from the ex and combined incomes from OP and her new husband, the family led a comfortable life. The support money, not needed for daily expenses, was set aside for the children’s future and divided equally among them.
The Grandparents’ Intervention
Angered by their son’s disregard for Ann, the ex’s parents took a bold step. They redirected his inheritance solely to Ann, ensuring her financial security and emphasizing their disdain for their son’s choices.
Ann’s Unexpected Resilience
OP had anticipated that Ann would require therapy to address feelings of abandonment. To her surprise, Ann appeared unaffected, with her stepfather filling the role of “Dad” seamlessly. She’s grown without feeling any sense of inferiority or abandonment.
The Wealth Disparity
While all three children have a future fund, Ann also has an added trust fund of a quarter-million dollars. Beth and Sam’s funds, on the other hand, mostly consist of their sister’s child support money. This difference soon becomes a point of contention.
Sam’s Divergent Path
At 19, Sam decided against pursuing further education. Furthermore, he started resenting his biological father’s complaints about child support. Observing his father’s deteriorating health and financial strain, Sam’s attitude began to shift.
The children were unaware of the future funds set aside for them. However, thanks to their biological father, they knew about Ann’s trust fund. Sam started pressuring Ann to relinquish her inheritance to aid their struggling father.
A Father’s Influence
Sam became increasingly insistent that OP terminate Ann’s support order. This demand was strongly opposed by OP’s husband, who viewed it as unjust. Sam’s alignment with his biological father deepened the wedge within the family.
As an adult, Sam’s autonomy limited OP’s ability to mandate family therapy. OP grappled with guilt over not revealing the truth about the future funds. She worried Sam would impulsively give it to his struggling father.
Tensions escalated, leading to a significant rift between Sam and his sisters. With mounting resentment, Sam began accusing OP of greed, straining their relationship.
In his quest to defend his father and challenge the financial decisions, Sam adopted extreme views. This further distanced him from his family, complicating the already fragile dynamics.
A Mother’s Dilemma
Torn between her husband’s reassurances and her fears, OP questioned her actions. Was she in the wrong? Her primary concern became the shifting dynamics with her oldest, Sam.
Was Collecting Child Support She Didn’t Need That Would Prevent Her Ex From Being Able To Retire Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “Your Ex intentionally chose to change his career to one that was less lucrative. And he did so in an attempt to avoid a legal obligation.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “It seems so weird to me to reject just the youngest. I can only imagine that he thought you were cheating on him.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “Ann has no obligation to the man who abandoned her. The trust fund is hers and hers alone. It doesn’t sound like she’ll be manipulated into it, though.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “Do not give him back a dime or cancel his child support. He owes that to Ann. Just because Ann is seemingly unphased doesn’t mean your ex isn’t an absolutely deadbeat of a father. Also, it doesn’t mean Ann won’t one day need therapy. Abandonment issues can present throughout life in a variety of ways. ”
Showdown at 40,000 Feet When Passenger Refuses to Move Up Her Reclined Seat in Economy.