In an unanticipated turn of events, the Original Poster (OP) and her family are forced to relocate, disrupting their children’s educational stability. The oldest son is given an ultimatum: secure a job and a driver’s license for self-transportation or face the prospect of switching schools. As a looming application deadline approaches and the son’s commitment wavers, the family’s tranquility hangs in the balance.
The Unplanned Relocation
OP and her family moved approximately 20 miles from the kids’ school district because their landlord sold the family’s rental home where they had lived for eight years. This displacement results in the family paying more rent to keep the children somewhat close to their friends.
Despite the logistical difficulties, the parents let the children finish the school year at their old schools. Due to different start and release times, this decision increases the time and effort it takes to transport the children.
The Graduation Conundrum
OP’s son resists the idea of not graduating with his friends. OP and her spouse understand his sentiments and strike a deal with him. They promise to provide a car for transportation if he obtains a part-time job and his driver’s license.
The Stipulations of the Deal
The terms of the deal require OP’s son to cover the cost of gas while the parents will cover the car’s insurance. However, their son has failed to secure a job, even though their neighbor arranged an easy interview for him. Also, he has not begun to accumulate the 100 hours of driving practice needed to get his driver’s license.
Camping Over Commitment
The son prioritizes leisure over responsibility, blowing off the job interview to go camping. OP’s efforts to remind him of the conditions of their deal are met with dismissive remarks. He insists that he’s “working on it” yet shows no tangible progress.
The Approaching Deadline
As the deadline to apply to allow the son to remain at his current school approaches, the son pleads with OP. He urges them to sign the application, promising that he’ll fulfill his end of the bargain by September. OP, however, doubts his sincerity due to his lack of effort and progress.
The Absence of Effort
Despite being fully aware of the deadline to submit the application to remain at his current school, the son hasn’t made any effort to meet the conditions of the deal. OP feels conflicted about his lack of initiative. He knew about the expectations but had done nothing to meet them.
The Unseen Consequences
The family begins to feel the strain of juggling multiple school schedules. The constant shuttling back and forth drains their energy and the family’s finances due to the gas expenses. This situation exacerbates the stress the family feels due to their recent move.
The Friend Factor
The desire of the children, especially the son, to remain close to their friends becomes a significant factor in the parents’ decision-making. This adds an emotional aspect to their challenges. The kids’ social connections are tied to their old schools, complicating the issue of the school switch.
The Stubborn Standstill
Despite the mounting difficulties, the son remains obstinate in his stance. He fails to show significant progress in his quest for a job or driver’s license. His nonchalance towards the situation exasperates OP.
The Son’s Plea
As the deadline looms, the son begs OP to submit the application allowing him to stay at his current school. He tries to convince OP to trust his word, stating he will meet the terms of their deal by September.
The Missing Trust
OP doubts her son’s sincerity due to his lack of progress. The son’s empty promises and the absence of visible effort shatter OP’s trust. This mistrust intensifies the conflict between OP and her son.
The Unfulfilled Promise
The son’s repeated failures to uphold his end of the deal exacerbate the conflict. Despite ample opportunities and reminders, he makes no significant strides toward fulfilling his commitments. OP’s patience dwindles as the situation remains unchanged.
Was The Mother’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback. The readers in the community forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Uprooting a life at that pivotal moment is just a bad idea. Your kid is going to resent you for a very, very long time. I don’t know if this hill is worth dying on.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “I advise against switching him. Something similar happened with my older brother way back when and it caused a big rift between us all. It can cause some serious depression and impact the college he goes to.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “Moving him out of the school he’s known his senior year is an awful thing to do. It’s honestly something your kid might resent you for a very long time.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “He’s not taking ANY initiative to meet the requirements to stay at his current school. If he cared, he’d already be driving and working. He’s acting spoiled and entitled.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.