In a tale of dreams, dining, and discord, the Original Poster (OP) and his wife’s newly renovated dining room became the battleground for an unexpected family feud. Their exclusion of the wife’s severely obese brother from a celebratory dinner party erupts into a whirlwind of accusations, public shaming, and strained relationships.
The Dining Room Dream
OP and his wife completed a long-anticipated project to remodel their dining room, using an unexpected bonus. His wife, a professional chef, had always had a dream of a high-end dining space, complete with a marble table and new chairs.
Following the project’s completion, OP’s wife is ecstatic and plans to host a dinner party, inviting both of their families. It’s a celebration that’s been in the making since her youth. She spent time planning an intricate menu for her family.
The Missing Invitation
All immediate family members are invited except for one, OP’s brother-in-law. A simple reason stood in the way of this seemingly unanimous invitation, the brother-in-law’s extreme obesity. This reality makes it physically impossible for him to attend the party as planned.
An Uncomfortable Reality
Weighing over 500 pounds, OP’s brother-in-law is unable to sit on the new chairs or remain upright for extended periods. His condition requires unique seating accommodations, such as a medical chair or couch, both of which are impractical in the newly designed dining room.
The design of the newly renovated room did not accommodate the kind of equipment that would be required for him to attend. The type of medical chair that his brother-in-law requires doesn’t fit into the doorframes of their home. OP and his wife see this as an impossible task if they ever want to host him in their home.
The Dining Room Dilemma
Including him in the dining room setup would undermine the purpose of the dinner party. Furthermore, the planned gourmet meal of seven small courses, typical of his wife’s cooking style, would likely be an issue for him, given past incidents of dissatisfaction over portion sizes.
The Unpleasant Truth
Deciding to exclude the brother-in-law from the invite list, OP is straightforward about the reasoning behind this decision when confronted by him. The issue at hand is his weight and previous food-related behaviors, which OP clarifies, sparking a significant reaction from the brother-in-law.
The brother-in-law is enraged, accusing OP and his wife of bigotry and unfairness. He can’t accept the fact that the party is about his sister’s childhood dream, not his own comfort or food preferences.
Social Media Storm
In response to the exclusion, OP’s sister-in-law shares a post on social media publicly shaming them both. She calls him a fat-phobic elitist, exacerbating the situation further and bringing it into the public eye.
Tone Of Voice
Many online argue that OP’s approach could have been different. They argue that the brother-in-law finding out about this event through his wife is what exacerbated the situation in the first place, and this could have been avoided.
The responses are divided: the guests who will be attending the party suggest ignoring the social media backlash and standing by OP and his wife’s decision. However, OP’s friends label him as an elitist, criticizing his actions and making OP doubt his decision.
An Unexpected Repercussion
To make matters worse, public shaming threatens the joy of the planned dinner party. It was supposed to be a celebration of a dream realized, but it’s now overshadowed by familial strife and public accusations.
A Question of Priorities
The situation raises the question of whose comfort should be prioritized. Should OP and his wife compromise their dream dining experience, or should the brother-in-law be expected to deal with the discomfort for the sake of familial harmony?
Was Excluding His Overweight Brother In Law From A Dinner Party Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “It’s not “I don’t want you there” it’s “we physically are unable to host you in this space” – totally different things, though I’m sure to him, it feels like the former and would not matter how well you explained yourself.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “ It might have gone over better if you’d approached him and his wife preemptively instead of letting them realize he’d been left out on their own.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “When you’re that heavy, you have to face the reality that you cannot do the same things as other people, and he sounds like he’s in denial. Your wife’s sister is an enabler as well.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “His weight, unfortunately, does not allow him to participate in this event, and while it stinks he is excluded, the reality of the event is that he cannot attend it as planned.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.