His Son Tried on His Daughter’s Clothes in Secret, But the Father’s Reaction Ignited an Unexpected Debate on Gender.

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The Original Poster (OP) finds himself embroiled in a domestic dilemma when his son, Jake, borrows and damages his sister’s belongings without permission. While trying to navigate this familial discord, OP’s wife challenges his views, insinuating potential biases related to gender expression. As the tension escalates and online opinions pour in, the family must confront more than just borrowed makeup.

Jake’s Unique Personality

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OP has a son named Jake and a daughter named Rebecca. Jake has always shown flamboyant and feminine tendencies. While OP accepts his son for who he is, some of Jake’s actions create friction within the family.

Mysterious Disappearances

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Rebecca approaches OP and her mother, distressed. She complains about her missing clothes and messed-up makeup. The family is thrown into mild chaos, seeking the culprit behind the missing items.

The Unspoken Suspect

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OP doesn’t need to be a detective to deduce who might be behind the missing items. Subtle indications are pointing towards Jake, but nothing is confirmed yet. The family atmosphere is thick with uncertainty.

Honest Admission

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OP decides to confront Jake about the missing items. When questioned, Jake admits to venturing into Rebecca’s room and trying on her things. The atmosphere is tense as OP processes this revelation.

Father’s Stance

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OP admits he doesn’t like his son wearing makeup and dresses, but that’s not the point. The point is he shouldn’t be going into his sister’s room and taking her stuff or damaging her makeup, especially not without her permission.

Setting Boundaries

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OP tries to establish clear boundaries. He emphasizes to Jake that Rebecca’s belongings, especially her makeup, should be protected. OP believes that each child’s possessions should be respected.

Wife’s Intervention

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After OP’s talk with Jake, his wife expresses her concerns. She feels that OP’s approach is too harsh and might border on being homo/transphobic. The couple’s differing perspectives create tension.

Father’s Struggle

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OP grapples with his internal feelings, admitting a personal discomfort with Jake’s choices. However, he recognizes that the core issue isn’t Jake’s feminine expression but the violation of Rebecca’s privacy and possessions.

Double Standards

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OP’s wife feels he’s being hypocritical. She believes if Jake were a girl, OP wouldn’t object to the sharing of items between sisters. OP, however, believes he’s upholding the same standards for both children.

Importance of Consent

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The heart of the issue is consent. Rebecca hasn’t given Jake permission to use her things. OP argues that boundaries must be respected regardless of Jake’s gender or age, and the same rule would apply to Rebecca as well.

Jake’s Proposal

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OP decides that a solution might be taking Jake shopping for his items. The idea is that Jake can use his allowance, like the rule they have for Rebecca. This way, Jake can explore his identity without infringing on Rebecca’s boundaries.

Thrifting Suggestion

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Another suggestion that catches OP’s eye is taking Jake thrifting. This affordable option would allow Jake to choose outfits and experiment with his style, offering a potential compromise for the family.

Pursuit of Fairness

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OP contemplates the implications of taking Jake shopping. If Jake gets new items, Rebecca might expect the same to maintain fairness. OP lightheartedly notes the expenses of raising children.

Was The Father’s Behavior Appropriate?

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Feeling overwhelmed by the choices he faces, OP posts his story online for feedback and support. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “You must find some way of getting him his own makeup to play with. ‘Flamboyance’ doesn’t go away, and you’re at the stage where you get to choose what kind of memories he has of you back when he was figuring himself out.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “’Sisters share’ means that they mutually agree and are happy sharing, not one taking the other’s stuff without permission. I hate this rhetoric.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “If you want to compromise, get your son a makeup set of his own, perhaps some clothes that he prefers to wear. If it makes your son happy to wear a dress or a skirt and use some mascara, it isn’t hurting anyone.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “Offer to take Josh shopping after he’s made whatever restitution he needs to make to Rebecca or served his punishment. That should make it clear your objection is 100% rooted in him needing not to take other people’s stuff without permission.”