In a world of contrasting financial philosophies, the Original Poster (OP) finds himself trapped in a domestic whirlwind stirred by his daughters’ divergent approaches to their university debts. When OP gifts his oldest daughter $1,000 for living frugally to pay off her loans, his spendthrift youngest daughter feels sidelined. As tensions rise, the reader is left on the precipice of an intense confrontation, yearning for a resolution to the family turmoil.
A Family Fracture
OP finds himself at odds with his wife and youngest daughter. The controversy centers around his two daughters’ university debts. Both are working post-graduation jobs, yet their approaches to their debt are contrasting, causing family tension to rise.
OP’s oldest daughter lives frugally to swiftly pay off her debt, while the youngest remains living at home, making minimum payments and spending her surplus on luxuries. This stark financial divergence becomes a potential trigger point for what follows.
A Triumph in Debt Clearance
OP’s oldest daughter calls with exciting news – she is now just $500 away from being debt-free. OP, immensely proud, decides to surprise her by sending $1,000, allowing her to clear her debt and enjoy some spare money.
Unveiling the Gift
Over dinner, OP shares his oldest daughter’s accomplishment and his gift to her. The youngest daughter reacts negatively. She points out the perceived favoritism, accusing OP of never helping her with her loans.
OP’s youngest daughter angrily protests her father’s actions. She argues that her father is biased, and she is unfairly deprived of financial support. The argument escalates, ending with her storming out of the house.
A Temporary Respite
The youngest daughter leaves home, seeking solace at her boyfriend’s place. The household is left in an uncomfortable silence. However, OP stands firm in his belief that he has been equitable in his assistance.
OP’s wife intervenes, suggesting a compromise to restore peace. She proposes that OP give their youngest daughter a regular sum of money to expedite her loan repayment. OP remains unconvinced, believing it unjust to reward her for her current spending habits.
The Oldest Daughter’s Dilemma
Meanwhile, the oldest daughter struggles with her newfound wealth. Feeling guilty about the surprise gift amidst the ongoing controversy, she considers returning it. However, she decides against it, given that it’s a reward for her diligent efforts.
The Compromise Proposal
One of the aunts proposes a compromise – a sort of family loan agreement for the youngest daughter with terms based on her ability to limit her expenditure. This solution seems reasonable but still requires OP’s approval.
Facing the Reality
OP remains hesitant but begins to consider the proposal. He starts to see that while his intention was fair, the perceived bias has caused a family rift. Still, he finds it hard to reward his youngest daughter’s extravagance.
The Youngest Daughter’s Reformation
Under the mounting pressure, the youngest daughter reevaluates her spending habits. She acknowledges her need to live more frugally to pay off her debt, mirroring her sister’s choices. The potential for change begins to sway OP.
The Final Confrontation
The family organizes another meeting to resolve the matter. OP’s youngest daughter presents her commitment to changing her lifestyle. With this, the atmosphere begins to shift towards a possible resolution.
A Calculated Decision
After much consideration, OP decides to support his youngest daughter’s efforts to pay off her loan faster. He agrees to provide monetary assistance while she sticks to her new frugal lifestyle and shows steady progress in reducing her debt.
Was The Father’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts his story online for feedback. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Technically, by allowing her to live at home with you this whole time, you’ve probably paid more towards your youngest loans than your eldest’s anyway when you consider extra groceries, power, and water.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “You could offer to do the same for her, as in making her final payment when she gets below $1,000. But she’s not entitled to it; her reaction makes me not want to help her.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “The amount of money she has saved by not having to pay rent is more than the $1,000 you gave to your eldest daughter. Your youngest daughter may not see it that way, but you’ve been more than fair and reasonable.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader replied, “If your older daughter was able to pay for an apt, pay all her expenses, and pay her loans off in 3 years with a similar salary as your younger daughter, that your younger daughter most certainly could also have almost paid her loans off if she had been responsible with her money.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.