After Her Mother’s Dreams Became Her Nightmare, She’s Now Considering a Secret Wedding.
In a struggle against her controlling mother’s expectations, the Original Poster (OP) embarks on a journey toward independence and love. As she gains the courage to stand up to her mother’s manipulative behavior, the OP must make a life-altering decision.
A Childhood of High Expectations
OP recalls a childhood marked by severe expectations and restrictions imposed by her mother. OP’s mother aimed to make her the “best child,” pushing her relentlessly in academics, sports, and her personal life, while her younger brother enjoyed more freedom. This harsh upbringing sparked resentment towards her brother and a yearning for a stable home.
The Chains of Financial Responsibility
While still a teen, OP worked multiple jobs to save up for college and contribute to family bills. Her brother, on the other hand, was able to use his earnings as he wished. The financial disparity led to a deep resentment within the OP, further exacerbated by her mother’s reckless spending on designer clothes and accessories while the family struggled with money.
Controlled Love Life
OP’s romantic relationships were subjected to her mother’s approval, often sabotaging those she disapproved of. This control extended into OP’s future, with her mother dictating her career path, future spouse, and even planning to move in with OP after marriage. This overbearing involvement made OP feel suffocated.
Meeting the One
While pursuing a law degree, OP met her current boyfriend. An immediate spark was felt, and they moved in together after just three days. He was everything she dreamed of: the man was loving, successful, and independent. His tendency to challenge her mother’s assertions, however, ignited her mother’s dislike.
A New Ally Against Control
OP shared her mother’s expectations and oppressive upbringing with her boyfriend, who was adamantly against her mother’s plans. He declared that her mother would be lucky to even know their future children. The realization that her boyfriend was not going to play by her mother’s rules sent shockwaves through OP’s life.
The Bold Ultimatum
When OP’s mother attempted to mock her boyfriend’s parents, he severed ties, forcing OP to make a choice between her mother and him. Her mother, who saw OP as her meal ticket, was thrown into panic. This pivotal moment led to a significant twist in OP’s life.
Reassessing Education
The OP makes a decision to drop out of law school due to financial constraints and losing passion for pursuing a law career- her mother’s dream. The couple reassessed their financial situation and debt and decided to focus on her boyfriend’s education first. This decision, while initially difficult, led OP to a job she loves and a new goal of pursuing a Masters in Social Work sometime in the future.
Choosing Love Over Control
OP chose her boyfriend over her manipulative mother. They’ve now been together for almost three years, with OP working remotely at a job she loves and her boyfriend successfully graduating from law school.
Relentless Pursuit
Despite choosing her boyfriend, OP’s mother persistently attempts to regain control and insert herself back into OP’s life. The mother’s desperate tactics range from threats to concocted excuses. Knowing her, OP and her boyfriend have to plan their upcoming wedding carefully to avoid potential sabotage.
Preparing for the Future
OP hints at an upcoming expected proposal, despite not being officially engaged yet. This revelation hints at the strong bond between the couple and their commitment to a future together.
Finding Happiness in Change
OP reflects on her journey, stating that law school wasn’t her dream. She found joy in her new job and has plans to further her education in a field she’s passionate about. The OP is no longer following her mother’s path but has found her own path and happiness.
A Self-Sustained Life
OP and her boyfriend’s joint income exceeds her expectations, allowing them a comfortable life. Her boyfriend’s immediate employment after graduation contributes significantly to their finances. The satisfaction and relief of being financially independent is a far cry from the poverty-stricken life OP had known growing up.
A Home of Their Own
Dreams of owning their own home, a desire deeply ingrained in OP from her childhood, may soon become a reality. The couple is on track to buy a house within a few years, providing the sense of security and stability that OP craved. This future home represents not just a physical space but a symbol of their love, independence, and resilience.
Defending Their Love
OP and her boyfriend are planning a quiet wedding due to the constant threats and attempts by OP’s mother to interfere in their lives. The couple’s love for each other, strong enough to withstand external pressures, drives them to take necessary precautions. As OP says, “We plan to get married soon and know we have to keep it really quiet because she will either call in a threat or try to show up.”
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
Forum Responded
One reader said, “Block her on everything. Make sure to tell your family and friends that they are not allowed to provide your mother with any of your contact information or any details of your life, EVER!”
Another responder wrote: “She should have raised a beloved child instead of a potential meal ticket and servant.”
A different person states, “Wow, cut her out and live your best life!”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by this thread.
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Alexander Veros
Alex is a writer for Top Dollar Investor, focusing on lifestyle, travel, and business stories. Alex has started several online businesses and is a blogger who loves providing quality content to help others. He is passionate about affiliate marketing, finance, and cryptocurrency.
