After photographing their cousin Rachel’s engagement party, the Original Poster (OP), a photographer specializing in nature photography, is embroiled in a moral dilemma. When Rachel and her fiancé Dan request the editing of Dan’s sister, who uses a wheelchair, in the event photos or altering her appearance, OP faces a tough decision that challenges both professional ethics and family bonds. The situation escalates as OP stands their ground, resulting in heightened tensions and leaving all parties at an impasse, eagerly awaiting a resolution.
The Joyous Occasion
OP’s cousin Rachel celebrated her engagement to Dan with a grand party at a hotel, complete with a rented reception room, caterers, bartenders, and a DJ. Friends and family gathered to share in the couple’s happiness, with no expectation of gifts or monetary contributions.
The Family Photographer
Although OP is a nature photographer with no experience in event photography, they agreed to capture the engagement party for Rachel. OP decided to step out of their comfort zone for the occasion. The event went smoothly, resulting in a collection of beautiful photographs.
A Request for Editing
The day after the party, Rachel and Dan approached OP with a request to discuss the editing of the photographs. OP anticipated a routine conversation about standard post-production adjustments. However, the couple’s request turned out to be anything but ordinary.
An Unusual Editing Task
Rachel and Dan expressed their desire to have all images of Dan’s sister, a person with paraplegia using a wheelchair, altered in a specific way. They wanted her wheelchair to be edited out, placing her in a dining chair instead or removing her from the photos entirely where this wasn’t possible.
The Photographer’s Dilemma
OP was conflicted, feeling that complying with the request would be disrespectful toward Dan’s sister. Despite only meeting her briefly, OP was aware of her active lifestyle and involvement in sports and politics. OP felt a strong obligation to uphold respect and dignity in this situation.
Taking a Stand
Determined to do what felt right, OP refused to carry out the controversial edits. They asserted their role as the copyright holder of the photographs, reminding Rachel and Dan of the contractual clause against unauthorized modifications. OP was ready to provide all the photos.
Rachel and Dan did not take OP’s refusal well, expressing their frustration and disappointment. They accused OP of not supporting the family, straining the relationship further. OP stood their ground, prioritizing ethical considerations over family pressure.
Extended Family Dynamics
The tension extended to the wider family, with OP’s aunt and uncle suggesting a reconciliation with Rachel. They hoped for a resolution that would maintain family harmony. OP was caught in a challenging position, navigating family expectations and personal values.
Reflection on Agreements
OP reiterated their willingness to provide the photos as initially agreed upon without seeking payment. They hoped this gesture would demonstrate their good faith and commitment to the agreement. OP had hoped to move on from the situation.
The Pressure to Conform
Rachel and Dan continued to press OP to change their stance, emphasizing their disappointment. They argued that OP was failing to meet their expectations as both a service provider and a family member. The couple was relentless in their pursuit.
Seeking External Validation
In a quest for perspective, OP turned to the wider community, questioning whether their refusal to edit the photos was justified. They laid out the situation, seeking unbiased opinions to validate or challenge their stance.
Clarifying the Stance
OP was clear in their intention to provide the photos as promised, without any alterations. They were willing to forgo payment to resolve the situation, emphasizing their desire to uphold their professional and ethical standards. OP’s priority was to maintain integrity.
The Asperger’s Aspect
OP acknowledged that their Asperger Syndrome sometimes made social situations and expectations challenging to navigate. They sought clarity and understanding from others, hoping to ensure that their actions were justified.
The Unwavering Decision
Despite the ongoing pressure and family tension, OP remained steadfast in their decision not to edit the photos. They were committed to respecting Dan’s sister and upholding their professional integrity. OP was ready to face the consequences, standing firm in their values.
The Ongoing Struggle
The situation remained tense, with Rachel, Dan, and certain family members continuing to express their dissatisfaction. OP navigated the difficult family dynamics, trying to maintain relationships while upholding their values.
Was The Photographer’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts the story online for feedback and perspective from the unbiased public. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “I would not give Rachel and Dan the photos. Seriously. I’d delete the photos and tell them you did so as they were unusable.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “Tell them your decision is final and no longer open for discussion. If they keep harassing you, tell them that you will happily discuss this issue with them in person along with Dan’s parents and sister, which should shut them up.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person asked, “How utterly pathetic and self-absorbed can two people be? If a family member asked me to do something like this, there’s a decent chance it would forever damage our relationship. Well done for standing your ground. That poor girl.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “Your thought process is honorable and justified. At the end of it, you are refusing to enable their ableist behavior.”