Adult daughter fighting with mother argument

Her Parents Rejected Paying Her College Tuition, so Now She’s Demanding Justice if They Want to Continue a Relationship.

In a family held hostage by rigid gender norms, the Original Poster (OP) rebels against her parents’ expectation for her to forgo higher education and take on traditional female roles. After years of silence, OP demands restitution from her parents for her college expenses, sparking a whirlwind of accusations and conflict.

A Patriarchal House

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OP was born into a family with rigid gender expectations. Her father worked, while her mother was responsible for the household and the children. Being the only girl among three brothers, OP was expected to follow in her mother’s footsteps, leading her life in traditional female roles.

An Unfair Advantage

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OP’s parents placed a higher value on the education of her brothers. They were sent to college with all expenses paid, living comfortably in off-campus apartments. But, despite OP’s academic achievements, her parents did not believe she needed higher education due to their expectations of her future as a homemaker.

A Secret Escape Plan

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OP secretly applied to college, earning a partial scholarship. A week before leaving, she revealed her plans to her parents, taking with her only a few things her friends had given her for college. She chose to study engineering, a path that required her to work and incur debt, but it was her chance to break free from the confines of her home.

The Departure

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With the date of her departure approaching, OP finally revealed her secret. The news of her acceptance into an engineering college and her decision to move out was met with shock and disbelief. Leaving behind her childhood home, she stepped into an uncertain future armed with nothing but her determination and a few belongings.

Severing Ties

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Moving out meant not just physical distance but also an emotional chasm between OP and her parents. The initial years of her college life were marked by sparse communication with her family, a reflection of their strained relationship. As she navigated through her new life, battling hardships and juggling work and studies, she made a painful decision to sever ties with her parents, marking a significant break from her past.

The Struggle for Independence

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Living independently was a challenge for OP. She had to juggle work, studies, and the burden of debt. During these years, she had little contact with her parents, the relationship strained by their opposing views on her life decisions.

A Life of Her Own

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OP managed to forge a new life for herself. She married and was now expecting her first child. Despite the hardships, she had succeeded in establishing a life that contradicted her parents’ expectations.

An Unexpected Reunion

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OP’s parents reached out, expressing a desire to reconnect. They met in a park where they offered an apology, albeit vague and unsatisfactory. OP challenged them, asking for specifics about what they were apologizing for.

An Empty Apology

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Her parents, unable to provide a satisfactory response, merely expressed a desire to move forward. OP found their apology insufficient, their inability to acknowledge the specifics of their wrongdoings a clear sign that they had not truly understood the pain they had caused her.

A Costly Demand

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OP demanded reparations. She asserted that if they were truly sorry, they should pay her the $100k that her degree and college expenses cost her, just as they had for her brothers. This demand led to her mother breaking down in tears and her father dismissing her request as a joke.

The Walkout

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Faced with her parents’ emotional responses, OP chose to walk away. She left her crying mother and dismissive father in the park, her demand for restitution hanging in the air. The meeting had ended with no resolution, leaving her once more estranged from her family than before.

Brothers’ Intervention

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Her brothers began to call her, accusing her of immaturity and cruelty. They failed to understand OP’s perspective, seeing her demand for compensation as an overreaction. Their calls only added to the conflict, further distancing OP from her family.

Holding Her Ground

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Despite her brothers’ accusations, OP stood firm. She did not see her actions as immature or hurtful; rather, she saw them as a necessary confrontation of the injustice she had faced. Her parents’ inability to recognize their error, and her brothers’ siding with them, only solidified her conviction.

The Burden of Unfairness

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The sting of the injustice she had endured was a constant ache for OP. The blatant disregard for her ambitions and the preferential treatment accorded to her brothers continues to haunt her.

Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?

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The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responded

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One reader said, “Your parents treated you terribly due to your gender and their archaic ideas of gender roles. When given a chance to apologize, they couldn’t be bothered to provide a sincere one.”

Another Viewpoint

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Another responder wrote: “Your parents, unfortunately, can’t prove that they’re sorry because they aren’t.”

A Different Perspective

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A different person states, “Misogynistic parents get what they deserve.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

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The original poster of the story, a 29-year-old man, had a series of conflicts with his mother-in-law that threatened to ruin his marriage.

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Josh Dudick

Josh is a financial expert with over 15 years of experience on Wall Street as a senior market strategist and trader. His career has spanned from working on the New York Stock Exchange floor to investment management and portfolio trading at Citibank, Chicago Trading Company, and Flow Traders.

Josh graduated from Cornell University with a degree from the Dyson School of Applied Economics & Management at the SC Johnson College of Business. He has held multiple professional licenses during his career, including FINRA Series 3, 7, 24, 55, Nasdaq OMX, Xetra & Eurex (German), and SIX (Swiss) trading licenses. Josh served as a senior trader and strategist, business partner, and head of futures in his former roles on Wall Street.

Josh's work and authoritative advice have appeared in major publications like Nasdaq, Forbes, The Sun, Yahoo! Finance, CBS News, Fortune, The Street, MSN Money, and Go Banking Rates. Josh currently holds areas of expertise in investing, wealth management, capital markets, taxes, real estate, cryptocurrencies, and personal finance.

Josh currently runs a wealth management business and investment firm. Additionally, he is the founder and CEO of Top Dollar, where he teaches others how to build 6-figure passive income with smart money strategies that he uses professionally.