In this tale of love and money, the Original Poster (OP), a hater of debt, is forced to confront his girlfriend’s contrasting casual attitude toward her financial liabilities. As OP generously tries to help her climb out of her monetary pit, the story takes an unexpected turn when he discovers she’s allowing her debts to go into default, intending for him to pick up the pieces.
A Loathsome Leash
OP, 29, has an aversion to debt, viewing it as a chain holding back progress in life. He managed his college loans efficiently through scholarships and prompt payments. OP now has a new car loan that is quickly dwindling down.
A recent house purchase further manifests OP’s prudent financial management, his intent being to quickly pay off his mortgage. Although most people view this as a debt that everyone has, OP is of a different mindset.
A Girlfriend’s Gamble
On the other side, OP’s girlfriend, also 29, adopts a carefree approach towards her mountain of debt, which includes student loans, car payments, and credit card debt. Her strategy revolves around minimum monthly payments, preserving her additional income for leisure. This stark contrast in financial perspectives creates the first tension point in their otherwise blissful relationship.
A Benevolent Bargain
OP, in love and hopeful of a shared future, offers his girlfriend a deal to alleviate her financial burden. He proposes she lives rent-free in his house until she clears her debts, which she could manage in 1.5 years with her salary.
The Plan Moving Forward
He hopes that once debt-free, she will contribute to the house payments, achieving a balanced partnership. OP knows that entering a marriage with debt is not an option for him. He doesn’t want to start already feeling burdened.
An Alluring Acceptance
The girlfriend readily accepts the arrangement, which promises to set her on a debt-free path within a reasonable timeline. Both dive into detailed planning, scrutinizing her finances to form a comprehensive debt-clearing plan. At this point, this seems like a mutual agreement.
A Disturbing Discovery
One day, OP picks up his girlfriend’s phone and unexpectedly hears a debt collector on the other line. He confronts her as he had expected her to clear at least one small loan within their few months together. In a shocking revelation, she confesses that she has stopped making all payments.
What’s Your Problem
When OP presses further about why his girlfriend hasn’t been making payments, he is shocked by her response. She was planning to pass the responsibility to OP upon marriage and that his finances could clearly take care of it.
A Bitter Backlash
Faced with his girlfriend’s irresponsible actions, OP draws a line, insisting they won’t marry until her debt is cleared. This upsets her, resulting in a heated argument where he gives her three options: stick to the initial deal, pay him back, or leave his house. Taken aback, she packs her belongings and leaves the house.
An Unexpected Uproar
After his girlfriend’s abrupt departure, OP receives a series of calls from her family and their mutual friends. They accuse OP of being too controlling over her money. OP, however, stands firm, seeing his girlfriend’s actions as freeloading and a breach of trust.
Reason For Concern
When explaining the uproar brought on by his girlfriend’s family and friends, OP shares where this obsession with zero debt originated. In the 2008 housing crash, OP and his family lost their home. They were homeless for an entire year during his childhood.
A Silver Lining
When OP takes the situation to an online forum for support, he is gifted with a silver, a virtual token on the platform where he shares his story. This symbolizes the fact that there are individuals who empathize with his situation and understand his predicament.
An Overflowing Support
OP’s post goes viral, leading to a huge influx of responses overnight. This surge of attention, although overwhelming, provides him with a variety of perspectives and suggestions regarding his predicament. It also earns him gold, another virtual token, further acknowledging his situation. This brings him a lot of confidence in his choice.
A Final Farewell
In an update, OP reveals he’s arranged help from friends to move his ex-girlfriend’s belongings to her brother’s house. Amid continuous calls and disapproval from various corners, he stands firm in his decision. He concludes he wants a partner who values him over his finances.
Was Kicking His Girlfriend Out Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “Run. You offered her a sweetheart deal, and she’s treating you like she treats her bank. If her friends and family have an opinion, maybe they can start paying off her debt.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “Originally, I was gonna say it’s a little controlling. However, once you said she just stopped paying, claiming that you would pay for her debt when you both got married, the game changed. At this point, it only seems like she’s using you to fund her irresponsible behavior and lifestyle.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “You should still speak to someone about your anxieties. Debt-free sounds great, but in the current economy, it’s not necessarily an achievable goal while also being a well-rounded human who has fun.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “It seems as if you both have a very different approach to money management, which would only cause issues again and again in the future. I’m sorry that you love her, and it’s not working out.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.