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She Thought She Was Just Being Observant, But Her Comment About the Best Man’s Sexuality at the Ceremony Ignited a Wedding Day Crisis.

When the Original Poster (OP) attends her boyfriend’s cousin’s wedding, she finds herself engrossed in the unconventional behavior of the best man during his speech and entrance. Sensing something amiss, she poses a question about his sexuality to those around her, only to stir up an unexpected storm of discomfort and disapproval within the groom’s family.

The Wedding Invitation

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OP, a 31-year-old woman, is invited to her boyfriend’s cousin’s wedding as a plus one. They attend the ceremony, which OP finds delightful. Later, they settle in for the reception, where the wedding party makes their entrance.

The Quirky Entrances

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As is often the case, the entrances of the wedding party are a bit over-the-top and cringe. OP finds it all rather amusing but standard for a wedding. Finally, the best man and maid of honor are introduced, featuring a peculiar twirl.

The Unconventional Toast

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The best man gives a speech that deviates from the usual masculine themes OP is accustomed to hearing. He speaks freely without a script and finishes by hugging the groom instead of a more traditional handshake. OP finds this all somewhat unexpected.

A Suspicion Voiced

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OP leans over to the woman seated next to her and questions if the best man might be bisexual. She cites the best man’s speech and his focus on his appearance as her reasons for asking. The neighbor points to the best man’s fiancée across the table.

The Confused Fiancée

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OP then directly asks the best man’s fiancée if he is bisexual. The fiancée looks confused and firmly answers, “No.” OP, not easily dissuaded, presses on, asking, “Are you sure?”

The Sister Intervenes

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The woman next to the fiancée jumps in, revealing that she is the best man’s sister. She states she would know if her brother was bisexual. OP realizes she is at a table with family members of the groomsmen and decides to change the subject.

The Awkward Atmosphere

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Despite the topic change, OP senses that her questions have struck a nerve. The table’s atmosphere feels tense. It’s clear her inquiry was sensitive for reasons she doesn’t fully understand.

Word Spreads

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As the night continues, OP learns that her comments have made their way back to the groom’s family. She discovers that they are upset with her for her questioning. The best man is close to the family, and they find OP’s questions embarrassing.

The Suggested Apology

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Some family members feel that OP should apologize to the best man and his fiancée. OP, however, doesn’t see the problem and argues that her question was valid. She even tries to bolster her argument by mentioning the best man’s socializing throughout the evening.

Relationship Strain

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The incident causes a strain on OP’s relationship with her boyfriend. His family is clearly displeased with her, complicating social dynamics. She remains adamant that her question was reasonable.


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OP attempts to defend her comments further, pointing out that the best man seemed overly concerned about his appearance. She also notes that he danced with multiple people during the reception, not just his fiancée.

The Touchy Subject

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Despite OP’s justifications, it’s apparent that her inquiries have touched a sensitive spot within the groom’s family. They feel that her questioning was intrusive and inappropriate, especially in the context of a wedding.

Social Expectations

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OP contemplates the unspoken social norms and expectations that she may have violated. She begins to realize that weddings might not be the best venues for voicing such speculative questions about someone’s sexuality.

Was Questioning The Best Man’s Sexuality At A Wedding Appropriate?

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image credit: dean-drobot/shutterstock

The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “You were being rude and intrusive by questioning the best man’s sexuality based on some superficial and stereotypical assumptions. You also ignored the clear answers from his fiancé and sister, who obviously know him better than you.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote: “This is toxic masculinity in a super weird way. The next time you go to a wedding where you probably don’t know many people, keep your mouth shut and your judgments to yourself.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person states, “Your comments were inappropriate, offensive, and unwarranted. His sexuality is none of your business.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another viewpoint on the story: “The fact that you tried to justify your question (and continued to ask it) is amazing and horrifying. I can understand asking your boyfriend on the side, but a complete stranger? Had it been my wedding, I would have kicked you out.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.

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