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He Frets Over Girlfriend’s Traditional Dress at Work But His Concerns Reveal a Deeper Clash With His Own Identity Struggles.

When the Original Poster’s (OP’s) British girlfriend starts wearing traditional Indian attire to her American workplace, concerns about cultural appropriateness and potential discrimination arise. As OP voices his worries, based on the formal dress code of his bank job, tensions brew between the couple, culminating in a heartfelt discussion about identity, freedom, and self-expression.

Unlikely Romance

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OP, an American man living in London, falls in love with a British woman of Indian heritage. Their backgrounds differ, but their feelings for each other are genuine. After they both accept job offers in New York City, the couple moves to the US.

Dual Cultures on Display

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OP’s girlfriend occasionally wears Indian attire to work – glistening heels in gold and silver complement her colorful saris. The vibrant colors and traditional designs stand out in contrast to the standard Western office wear.

OP’s Opinion

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OP finds her attire more suited for festivals or parties rather than an American workplace. He does not see other US professionals wearing this type of outfit and thinks she will be out of place in her new surroundings.

The Comparison

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Having Indian friends who dress predominantly Western, OP uses them as a reference. In his circle, Indian outfits are limited to special occasions. On a day-to-day basis, OP and his colleagues prefer standard business casual dress – typically polos and trousers.

A Concern Voiced

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OP, wanting the best for his girlfriend and fearing potential discrimination, advises her to modify her attire to conform to the atmosphere where she works. He suggests that the bold fashion statement might appear unprofessional in the US.

Standards at the Bank

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OP’s viewpoint is influenced by his work environment at a bank, where he’s surrounded by individuals adhering to strict formal dress codes. His girlfriend, unwilling to compromise on her choice of attire, retorts that she will wear what she likes, despite OP’s reservations.

Cold Tensions

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Their disagreement leads to strained relations, and the atmosphere becomes chilly, with both parties feeling misunderstood. OP wonders if his stance makes him the antagonist in this story. He grapples with the uncertainty of being in the right or wrong.

British Identity

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Despite her clothing choices, the girlfriend strongly identifies as British. Her critique of India and its politics confuses OP, making her choice to wear Indian clothes even more perplexing. In his head, she should pick a nationality and commit to it.

Public Opinion

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After seeking advice, OP realizes that many believe he’s in the wrong. His concern, though genuine, might have come off as overbearing. He tries to change his point of view to be more considerate of his girlfriend.

An Unexpected Incident

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One day, OP witnesses his girlfriend getting catcalled and mocked due to her attire. His fears about discrimination appear to be coming true. Seeing her mocked, OP’s protective instincts kick in.

The Apology

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Realizing he might have been too critical, OP contemplates apologizing. He begins to understand that his perspective was narrow. He realizes that understanding is more than just agreeing or disagreeing.

The Heartfelt Discussion

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The couple finally sits down to discuss the matter at length. Both express their feelings and fears, striving to reach a mutual understanding. The conversation reveals that it’s not just about the clothes. It’s about identity, pride, and the freedom to express oneself.

Unwavering Support

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Having broadened his perspective, OP decides to support his girlfriend’s choices to stand out in a crowd to represent her unique cultural heritage. Their relationship grows stronger, built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect.

Was The Boyfriend’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP seeking outside opinions posts his story online. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “You’re worried about discrimination, but it sounds like you’re the only one with a problem. Indian clothes are not inappropriate in the workplace.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “If no one has complained at work about what she wears, then you’re creating discord where there isn’t any. Perhaps you’re the one who’s bothered.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “Her traditional clothing isn’t a costume to wear only at festivals, etc. She can be proud of her ethnicity without agreeing with the country’s politics. What point are you trying to make here?”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “This is weird. Has this guy spent any time in the UK? This sort of outfit is not uncommon to see daily. She’s not dressing up. This is normal.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.

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