She Grew Up Without Any Support From Her Father, Which Was Fine Until Her Mother Starts Asking Her For Financial Help.

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In a tale of family, responsibility, and unresolved debts, the Original Poster (OP) navigates the tricky terrain of a mother who prides herself on self-sacrifice yet finds herself in financial straits upon nearing retirement. As tensions rise, OP’s aunt emerges as an unexpected beacon of support and wisdom, pushing OP to confront old wounds and unpaid dues. But as the past is unearthed, can familial bonds withstand the weight of regret and unspoken truths?

The Martyr

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OP’s mother always portrayed herself as a martyr, especially after OP’s father left. Despite the challenges, she ensured OP had necessities. However, she never sought child support, leading to some financial struggles.

Young Responsibilities

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By the time OP began babysitting, she already started earning to help pay for personal expenses. This included school fees and other essential costs. It was an early taste of responsibility and independence.

A New Refuge at 16

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At 16, OP decided to leave her mother’s home and move in with her aunt, who was more than willing to offer support. The environment with the aunt was more nurturing and supportive, allowing OP to thrive and grow with confidence.

Aunt’s Interventions

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OP’s aunt was instrumental in helping her get into college. Not just that, she assisted in obtaining a judgment against OP’s father for the pending child support. Yet, the father never responded to the order.

Building a Future

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The aunt didn’t stop at just guiding OP. She guided her through scholarship applications and even encouraged saving, eventually allowing OP to start a business after graduation. Her contributions were immense to OP’s current success.

Echoes of the Past

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As OP’s mother approached retirement, she sought financial help from her daughter. She believed that OP owed her for the sacrifices she made. However, OP knew the choices she made had left her with less.

The Unsettled Debt

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OP suggested that her mother hire a lawyer to collect the child support her father owed. With an existing judgment, it seemed a feasible option. Yet, OP’s mother remained resistant, curiously evading the suggestion.

The Aunt’s Generosity

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Despite the ongoing tensions, OP maintained a close relationship with her aunt. She regularly bought groceries and essentials, expressing gratitude for all her help. It was a bond formed through years of understanding and support.

Gossip and Grievances

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The mother, feeling slighted, often complained to the aunt about OP. Yet, the aunt sided with OP, believing the mother had missed several opportunities. Their relationship dynamic was complex and fraught with past decisions.

Secrets Revealed

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OP’s father was, and remains, married to another woman. There was no doubt about OP’s paternity as the father’s name was on the birth certificate, and DNA evidence confirmed the connection. However, this did not ensure responsibility or support.

Mother’s Vocation

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The mother dedicated herself as a healthcare aide. This job, while noble, didn’t necessarily bring in vast amounts of money. It was one of the reasons for their modest living conditions and her request for assistance.

OP’s Rise

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With the aunt’s guidance and personal determination, OP became a certified public accountant. This career choice paved the way for their current success and financial stability. She now can live the life of ease she always imagined as a child.

Father’s Absence

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To the best of OP’s knowledge, her father never financially contributed. Even if he did, it wasn’t significant enough to make a noticeable difference in their lives. While OP managed to get a judgment against their father, they never actively pursued its enforcement.

Was The Daughter’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP posts her story online for the feedback and judgment of the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

One reader said, “Your father owes your mother the money she lacks. If she didn’t do what she needed to get the money he owes her, it’s on her now.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “The money was for your welfare, and no matter how she felt about your father, she should have had the money collected for your benefit. It would have made a difference to your early life.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “You either help your mother because you want to and can afford to, or you don’t. There is no obligation to do so morally or legally.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “The child support is in the past. It’s over. Help her or don’t help her. That’s completely up to you but stop using child support as an excuse.”