In the heart of familial tension and unsolicited judgment, a 19-year-old girl (OP) finds herself constantly fat-shamed by her own parents. Despite her regular gym visits and healthy lifestyle, her parents remain critical, reaching a climax when her father’s comments push her to invite him to a gym session to confront their skewed perceptions.
The story begins with OP, a 19-year-old female who often endures fat shaming from her parents. Although she is not overweight, her parents continuously criticize her body, pushing her to seek fitness and health to a degree that she hadn’t previously.
OP maintains a healthy lifestyle by going to the gym three times a week and eating balanced meals. She is proud of her progress, yet her family continues to make her feel like she isn’t good enough.
A Sandwich Incident
One evening, while OP is eating a sandwich, her 66-year-old father remarks condescendingly about her diet. He compares her routine to his, advocating for his hot yoga sessions. This comment, made without provocation, deeply hurts OP, who has previously struggled with her weight.
An Unsympathetic Confidante
Seeking support, OP confides in her mother about the hurtful comments and shares her gym progress. She talks about her newfound strength and endurance, yet her mother dismisses these achievements, focusing only on the lack of weight loss.
This response from her mother further amplifies OP’s sense of alienation and lack of familial understanding. Not only does her father say hurtful things, but her mother also defends the comments he makes as well.
An Invitation to Empathy
Looking for a way to make her parents understand her journey, OP invites her mother to join her gym sessions. She wants her mother to see firsthand how she exercises, which is starkly different from her parents’ hot yoga routine.
Things Have Changed
She has been working out for almost a year now, and her progress is significant. OP would love some support from her Mom and to prove to her that she has been working hard to improve. This constant seeking of approval is an ongoing feat for OP.
A Mother’s Hesitation
When OP proposes inviting her father as well, her mother strongly objects. The mother’s concern lies in the potential humiliation her father could face for not being able to keep up with his daughter’s workout intensity. She argues that it could emasculate him since he is no longer as fit as he perceives himself to be.
An Unresolved Dilemma
OP is taken aback by her mother’s statement and wonders if emasculating her father could make him stop fat-shaming her. However, her mother insists that there is no way to win in this situation, subtly encouraging OP to give up and accept her father’s hurtful comments.
Caught In The Middle
This leaves OP questioning if she would be in the wrong for “emasculating” her father to stop his fat shaming. On the one hand, she doesn’t want to bully her father like he has done to her. On the other, she would love it if it would get him to at least stop making hurtful comments.
In spite of her mother’s advice, OP decides to persist. Her intention is not to harm her father but to demonstrate her dedication to her fitness regimen, hopefully ceasing his remarks about her body and lifestyle.
Unexpectedly, it is revealed that her father was once twice his current size, making his comments seem hypocritical. It’s not just a battle of fitness ideologies now but also a clash of past experiences and future expectations. This realization fuels OP’s determination to change her father’s perspective.
A New Beginning
In the end, OP is left to hope that her relationship with her father will lead to a better understanding and mutual respect between them. She hopes that this bold action will ultimately bring about a positive change in her family.
Was Attempting to Emasculate Her Father Appropriate?
The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:
One reader said, “A man who could be “emasculated” by a single gym workout with his teenage daughter is a hollow shell of a man to begin with.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote: “Please get your Mom to reframe the perspective. You’re not inviting your Dad to the gym for a weightlifting contest! Rather, you’re inviting both of them to exercise with you as a family!”
A Third View on The Story
A different person states, “Humiliate them both. Maybe they’ll at least learn to leave you be.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another viewpoint on the story: “ It sounds like your Dad is projecting his own issues onto you, and your mother has decided to ‘defend’ her husband over her daughter. You might need to tell him straight up that you’re aware he’s had weight issues in the past, but he needs to stop putting that on you.”
What Do You Think?
What are your thoughts on their actions?
What would you have done in this situation?
This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.