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They Came Out as Non-Binary and Lesbian to Their Mormon Family, But a Car Ride With Mom Revealed a Bigger Problem.

The Original Poster (OP), a 21-year-old non-binary lesbian who grew up in a Mormon family, took the courageous step of coming out to their parents. Anticipating acceptance but met with rejection, OP is forced to confront a life-altering decision: leaving their home and their job to move to a new city. A fateful car ride with their mom, punctuated by a heated argument, brings the tension between family ties and personal freedom to a boiling point.

Growing Up Mormon

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OP is 21 years old and identifies as non-binary and lesbian. They struggled growing up in a strict Mormon family and community. They’ve been distancing themselves from the church for years, trying to create their own identity apart from outside influence.

The Illusion of Progress

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OP decides to come out to their parents, thinking they’d be accepting since OP’s younger siblings are LGBT allies, and the parents themselves have been making efforts to be more politically correct.

The Unexpected Fallout

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The parents react poorly, stating they can’t have someone “living in sin” and “anti-Mormon” under their roof. They claim to still love OP but set boundaries to protect their cultural and religious values.

Parents’ Rules

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The parents say as long as OP lives in their house, they cannot date or practice their homosexuality in any way. They don’t want any pride paraphernalia or any expression of non-binary or lesbian leanings to be displayed or advertised for their family and friends to see.

Taking the Leap

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Responding to their parents’ reaction, OP secures a job and an apartment in a city a few hours away. They put in their notice at their current job, preparing to move out and move on with their life on their own terms.

Work Gets Personal

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OP’s boss, who is also a friend and accepts her preferences and desired identity, asks about the sudden decision to leave. OP tells her the truth about their parents’ non-acceptance, which sparks concern and empathy from those she works with.

The Gossip Mill

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Word spreads quickly at OP’s workplace about their situation. The story of their parents kicking them out becomes common knowledge among the staff. OP’s parents are painted as the villains in the story.

An Awkward Encounter

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OP’s mom arrives at their workplace to pick them up due to bad roads during a rough winter storm. The other employees glare at her, making her uncomfortable. When OP explains why the coworkers were hostile toward her in the car, the tension culminates in a heated argument.

The Parents’ Justification

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The mother argues that they never intended to kick OP out for being gay or leaving the church. Instead, they claim it’s about not influencing OP’s younger siblings, who are still unmarked by the trends toward gender confusion.

The Bad Influence

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The parents argue they merely wanted to protect their younger children from what they perceive to be a bad influence, citing concerns about OP’s friends and online activities. Despite their small-mindedness, OP acknowledges that their parents had let them live rent-free during the pandemic and even paid for groceries.

The Guilt Creeps In

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OP starts to feel guilty, knowing they have been able to save money for the move precisely because they’ve been living with their parents. OP questions whether they were wrong for telling their coworkers the real reason for their move, given how it impacted their parents.

A Fractured Family

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The revelation of OP’s identity and the subsequent events have led to a rift between OP and their parents, making reconciliation difficult. OP doesn’t want to leave her parents’ home on a sour note. Even though they don’t understand them, OP doesn’t want to cut ties.

Changing Social Circles

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OP prepares to navigate a new life in a new city, leaving behind their family and their current circle of friends and colleagues. Excited for what’s to come but worried about all they could lose, OP feels torn.

Was The Person’s Behavior Appropriate?

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OP posts their story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “You are not a bad influence. You are not a sinner or a predator or any of those things. You’re a human being. She should treat you that way.”

Another Commenter Thinks

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Another responder wrote, “So in other words: We’re not kicking you out for being you. We’re just kicking you out because God forbid your siblings end up like you.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person stated, “You told the truth, a truth that concerns YOU and something done to YOU, meaning it was your choice to tell. They have nothing to complain about. They know what they’ve done is wrong.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another reader commented, “Your parents said you couldn’t live under their roof. They kicked you out. That is a fact, and it has nothing to do with them allowing you to stay with them during the pandemic. Your mother is embarrassed, and she should be. Actions have consequences.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.

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