For nearly 13 years, the Original Poster (OP) has borne the weight of hefty child support payments for his oldest daughter, hoping she’d benefit from a well-invested college fund. However, when she turns 18, and the fund’s mismanagement comes to light, family tensions escalate to an unforeseen climax, challenging relationships and trust.
Burden of Support
For nearly 13 years, OP dedicated almost 38% of his pretax income towards child support for his daughter. Despite having the potential to earn more, OP’s ex-wife chose to stay home, leading to her being assigned a minimum wage. This significantly affected the amount of child support OP had to provide.
The College Fund Agreement
Part of the child support was designated for a college fund for OP’s daughter. However, the investment decisions regarding this fund were solely at the discretion of the ex-wife. Despite efforts, OP had no say in these matters.
The support order had a deep impact on OP’s finances for many years. Not once did they miss a payment, showcasing dedication and commitment, and he also paid for extracurricular activities such as travel, softball, and karate. This led to personal sacrifices, such as delaying plans to expand his own family.
A Breath of Relief
When OP’s daughter turned 18, it signaled an end to the child support obligations. OP could now start saving for his twins’ college fund and refocus on retirement plans. He finally felt a semblance of financial freedom.
Out of the blue, the daughter approached OP with a financial request. She needed one-third of her college fees. OP directed her toward the college fund that had been accumulating over the years.
The Shocking Revelation
OP believed the amount in the college fund was nearly $95,000. However, due to ill-advised decisions by his ex-wife, only $13,000 remained. Anger crawled underneath OP’s skin as the reality of the situation began to sink in.
The Daughter’s Dilemma
The daughter, an innocent party in all of this, was caught in the crossfire. While OP sympathized with her, they couldn’t jeopardize their own financial stability due to the ex-wife’s mistakes. OP directed her to her mother for answers.
Family Tensions Rise
The daughter’s frustration led to a massive argument between her and OP. Feeling cornered, she turned to her grandparents for help. OP’s parents considered liquidating some assets to support her educational pursuits.
Siblings Take a Stand
OP’s siblings, viewing the situation from the outside, expressed their disapproval. They felt the daughter’s financial challenges shouldn’t burden the grandparents. The family was becoming increasingly divided.
Regardless of the mounting pressure, OP remained resolute. He was unwilling to endanger his retirement plans or compromise the future college funds for his eight-month-old twins. He felt he had already contributed enough.
The Growing Divide
As disagreements intensified, the once close-knit family drifted apart due to their uncompromising opinions. The siblings, parents, and daughter distanced themselves from OP, creating a palpable rift.
Alone in the Struggle
Isolated and emotionally drained, OP and his current wife felt the weight of the world on their shoulders. Their younger children, oblivious to the conflict, became unintended victims of the family discord.
The Silent Treatment
Communication broke down entirely when the daughter chose to sever ties. She no longer spoke to OP, deepening the emotional chasm between them. In his quest for understanding and validation, OP hoped to gain insight and support from the outside world.
Questions of Blame
Amidst the chaos and hurt, OP was plagued by doubts, questioning the actions, choices, and paths that led to this point. The repercussions of the past decisions weren’t limited to OP and the ex-wife. The extended family was ensnared in the web of conflict.
Hopes for Reconciliation
Despite the anguish and misunderstandings, OP longed for a resolution, an understanding, and the chance to rebuild the shattered bonds. The family’s future, uncertain and unpredictable, awaited the choices they’d make next.
Was The Man’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posted his story online for feedback and perspective from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “It’s not the daughter’s fault that her mom spent the money. It seems like OP is more concerned with his new family than he is with his daughter. She didn’t spend that money away. Her mom did.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “This isn’t your fault, but it also isn’t your daughter’s fault. I don’t believe you should pay any more money either. I would work on getting your daughter and family to understand your point of view.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “What kind of lies is your ex feeding your daughter? So, you’ve already paid for her college fund once, and they expect you to pay it a second time? That’s so messed up.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “Child support is tricky, but children are expensive. Without actual numbers, no one knows what exactly was paid for the child. No one knows whether OP and his ex-wife agreed she should be a stay-at-home parent.”