When the Original Poster (OP) established a passionate book club in her city, she never imagined it would lead to such emotional turmoil. Inspired by majestic bookballs on TikTok, OP planned a lavish ball, with one member notably absent from the guest list, igniting an unexpected conflict.
The Beginnings of a Book Club
OP, a 29-year-old woman, started an online book club about a year ago for fellow readers in her city. This wasn’t a nerdy affair; it was a group of girls passionate about historical fiction. Over time, the members became fast friends and regularly met to discuss their shared interests.
The Allure of BookBalls
Recently, OP noticed a trend on TikTok of “bookballs,” where participants dress up in grand ball gowns and wear ornate masks and accessories. The concept fascinated her, but unfortunately, there were none happening close to her. Determined to experience one, OP decided to host her own with the book club members.
The Book Club Ball Vision
While planning, OP envisioned a classy, intimate affair where everyone would don the attire of a lavish ball. She wanted everything to be perfect and started preparing for the special evening. There were roughly a dozen members in the club, each of whom had bonded over multiple gatherings.
Sam’s Casual Style
Among these members was Sam, a dear friend of OP. Sam had a distinct sense of style; she preferred comfort over fashion, usually wearing casual athletic clothes. Even for major events, Sam had previously chosen simplicity over extravagance, valuing her comfort above all else.
An Uninvited Friend
Considering the aesthetic she aimed for, OP decided not to invite Sam to the ball. She felt Sam’s usual casual look wouldn’t align with the event’s ambiance. She went all out for the event, sending out pricey invites, renting a hall, and arranging catering.
The Gown Shopping Spree
As the event neared, the excitement among the members grew. They invested in luxurious gowns and accessories, further elevating OP’s anticipation. Everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly.
The Uncomfortable Revelation
But word of the ball eventually reached Sam. Confused and hurt, she confronted OP about her exclusion. She questioned if OP was genuinely hosting a book club event and deliberately leaving her out.
A Difficult Conversation
Caught off guard, OP hesitated before admitting her decision to Sam. She explained her reason was Sam’s disinterest in dressing up. She felt that Sam wouldn’t match the envisioned aesthetic of the evening.
Sam’s Heartfelt Response
Feeling betrayed, Sam expressed her sadness at being left out. She didn’t understand why her attire would be more important than her presence. To her, their friendship was deeper than the clothes she wore.
Defending the Aesthetic
OP, on the other hand, felt that she had put in immense effort to curate a particular atmosphere. She believed that everyone should be a little extra for that one evening. To her, Sam’s casual attire would disrupt the aesthetic she had painstakingly created.
The disagreement resulted in a rift between the two friends who were once close. Sam, feeling hurt and sidelined, decided to distance herself. She hasn’t communicated with OP since their confrontation.
The Grand Book Ball
Despite the underlying tension, the ball turned out to be a hit. All the attendees looked stunning, and the ambiance was precisely what OP had hoped for. It was a night to remember for everyone present.
The Unsettled Feelings
The ball’s success did not resolve the emotional turmoil OP felt. She couldn’t shake off the guilt of excluding Sam, especially given their history and close bond. The memory of the night was bittersweet.
Seeking Public Opinion
More than understanding, OP was seeking validation. She wanted to know if her actions were justified. She questioned if prioritizing aesthetics over friendship made her wrong in this situation.
The Fate of a Friendship
The fate of OP and Sam’s friendship hangs in the balance. Their bond, once unbreakable, now seems fractured. Only time will reveal if they can move past this disagreement or if their relationship has been irrevocably damaged.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posted her story online for feedback and support from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “I would have sent her an invite and said that the attire was mandatory; that way, she could have chosen whether she wanted to attend, and if she didn’t, no loss to you. If you two are as good of friends as you say, you should have told her about it so she didn’t hear it from anyone else and feel left out.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “You could have brought it up and explained the importance of committing to the theme and dressing up, and offering to help her choose what to wear and trying to convince her that it could be a lot of fun, but instead you excluded her based on the assumption that she wouldn’t try, and that’s pretty hurtful.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “You should have given her a choice and opportunity to dress up by inviting her, and she needs to understand dress codes.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “You excluded a friend of more than ten years because you were afraid she’d ‘ruin the aesthetic’ of your party. You didn’t even allow her to choose to dress up or decline the invitation. That’s insulting.”