In a blended family of varying ages and dynamics, tensions rise when the Original Poster (OP)’s husband feels her daughter is distancing herself from the rest of the family. A proposed family trip is seen as a solution, but a hidden passport in the husband’s office escalates the situation to a boiling point.
The Blended Family
OP and her husband have been together for three years. He brings three children from a previous relationship into the union, while OP has one daughter, who, at 17, is the oldest. The husband, a man of deep faith, values his family above all.
The Daughter’s Dilemma
OP’s daughter faces complaints from her stepdad about not spending enough time with the family. She balances school, health issues, and work, trying her best to be present. However, she feels that her stepdad often burdens her with babysitting duties.
The Husband’s Denial
When OP’s daughter claims that she feels obligated to babysit, her stepfather denies it. He believes she is making excuses to avoid bonding with his children. The household tension increases.
A Proposed Solution
Believing that a vacation could mend the family bonds, OP suggests a trip. While her husband agrees in theory, he expresses reservations about his children feeling uneasy around the daughter due to her perceived “attitude.”
A Mother’s Stand
Despite her husband’s hesitations to bring all the children on the trip, OP insists that the entire family should participate. Tensions flare between the couple as they navigate their differing views on the matter.
Upon making arrangements, OP’s daughter realizes her passport is missing. The entire family searches the house without success. The husband implies this is a divine sign indicating she should stay behind.
The Shocking Discovery
While cleaning her husband’s office, OP discovers the missing passport hidden in a drawer. Dumbfounded, she confronts her husband, demanding an explanation for the misplaced document.
Turning to Technology
OP checks their home camera, discovering footage of her husband entering her daughter’s room. The evidence now clearly points towards her husband’s interference with the passport. The discovery solidifies her suspicions, and the trust between them deteriorates further.
Anger and Resentment
OP considers that when her husband could not manipulate her into what he wanted, he forced the issue himself. Her blood boils as she thinks of the time it took for the whole family to search the house, all while knowing exactly what the truth was.
The Trip Cancelled
In a fit of rage, OP confronts her husband about the hidden passport. Frustrated by the entire situation, OP cancels the family vacation. Her husband argues against the decision, emphasizing how devastated his children will be by the change of plans.
An Offer of Apology
In a bid to salvage the situation, the husband offers to apologize to OP’s daughter. He hopes this gesture might lead to a reconsideration of the canceled trip. Despite her husband’s pleas, OP remains resolute in her decision.
A Firm Stance
OP believes that the cancellation is a necessary consequence of his actions. The incident strains their relationship further. OP’s husband becomes distant, expressing his desire to seek spiritual guidance on how to proceed.
A Time for Reflection
The husband decides to take a hiatus from the relationship, opting for fasting and prayer. He hopes to gain clarity and direction from his faith. As both parties grapple with their feelings, they attempt to understand each other’s perspectives.
Gaslight and Control
OP reflects that when her husband couldn’t lie, argue, or manipulate what he wanted from her, he turned to giving her the cold shoulder as a form of punishment. Underneath it all, it seems his main motivation is to control her and the situation.
Conflicted and seeking external opinions, OP shares her story with friends and family. She hopes to gain insight into whether her actions were justified. The intricacies of their blended family story linger, leaving readers pondering the complexities of relationships and trust.
Was The Woman’s Behavior Appropriate?
OP posts her story online for feedback and guidance from the internet community. The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter.
One reader said, “Your almost adult daughter has valid reasons why she cannot spend more time, as he wants, with the step-siblings… he does not think her needs are equal or even important.”
Another Commenter Thinks
Another responder wrote, “A MAN OF GOD?! You need to stop calling him that. It’s blatantly untrue, and you need to open your eyes to his ACTIONS vs his WORDS.”
A Third View on The Story
A different person stated, “This is gaslighting. He wants you to think that you ‘disrespecting him’ (defending your daughter from a thief) is worse than him hiding her passport and lying about it.”
A Final Perspective on the Matter
Another reader commented, “You wanted a family vacation. He does not see your daughter as family since he made excuses and complained that she should not go.”