Parents lecturing their adult daughter at home mother father 3-way

Daughter Celebrated Her Special Day With Her Parents at a Fancy Restaurant, But Her Disrespectful Attitude Caused Them to Cancel Her Sweet 16 Birthday Party.

In an attempt to correct their daughter’s unsettling behavior during her 15th birthday, OP and her spouse find themselves in an escalating feud that tests their resolve and the essence of parenting. With the countdown to her next birthday inching closer, the question remains: will the daughter apologize and heal the year-old rift, or will she stick to her defiant attitude?

A Celebratory Start

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OP and her spouse decide to treat their daughter and her friends to a lavish restaurant dinner for her 15th birthday. The atmosphere is festive, and everything seems perfect until an unexpected argument arises. The daughter picks a fight with a friend over the perceived cheapness of the friend’s birthday gift.

The Unveiling

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Despite having initially appreciated the gift, the daughter becomes upset when she discovers it was purchased from a thrift store. The rift in the friend group begins when she openly insults the friend with derogatory remarks, an act that shocks the other attendees.

The Less Fortunate

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The friend in question is known to come from a less affluent family, heightening the severity of the daughter’s remarks. She purposely embarrassed her and called her out on something she could not control. Despite her family’s financial standing, she had still brought a gift.

Confronting the Offender

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Upon learning about the incident, OP and her spouse confront their daughter. Instead of expressing remorse, the daughter continues to berate her friend, displaying an alarming sense of entitlement.

Not How She Was Raised

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The parents are left bewildered, uncertain about where this unkind behavior stems from. OP and her husband had raised their daughter to never make people feel different when they didn’t have as much as them. They wondered where this behavior was stemming from.

Sanctions Imposed

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Reacting swiftly, OP and her spouse decide to donate all the daughter’s birthday gifts as a form of punishment. They also enforce a rule demanding an apology to the offended friend in the presence of the whole friend group.

A Bleak Future

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They have also threatened to cease funding future birthdays if their demands aren’t met. The daughter, however, remains unapologetic and defiant. Time goes on, and OP and her husband do not forget this incident.

Drifting Apart

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In the aftermath of the birthday fiasco, the friend group starts to shift. The insulted girl distances herself, and uncomfortable tension builds within the group. Meanwhile, the daughter shows no signs of remorse or intent to apologize.

Another Year, Another Birthday

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As her 16th birthday approaches, the daughter begins to discuss plans for a party, ignoring the ultimatum imposed by her parents. She compares herself to her best friend, who is having an extravagant sweet 16 party, and she doesn’t want to be left out. However, OP remains firm, reminding her of their deal.

Rising Tensions

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The daughter says that since the friend she insulted is no longer in her circle, there is no need for an apology. She suggests her parents are overly stringent, holding onto an outdated grudge. Despite the tension, OP and her spouse stand their ground, insisting on the previously set conditions.

The Grandparents Step In

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Witnessing the ongoing clash, the in-laws propose to sponsor the 16th birthday party. The daughter seems pleased, assuming she has won the battle against her parents’ sanction. However, OP and her spouse reject the grandparents’ offer.

All Sides Against OP

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With the grandparents and the daughter united against them, OP and her spouse find themselves on the defensive. Accusations fly that they are being too harsh, potentially ruining their daughter’s social life. Nevertheless, the parents remain resolute in their decision.

Parents United

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Faced with mounting pressure, OP and her spouse discuss their stance, choosing to remain united. They reaffirm their decision, hoping to teach their daughter a lesson in empathy and respect.

Was Refusing To Give Their Daughter A Birthday Party Until She Apologizes Appropriate?

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The readers in the forum had a lot of mixed views on the matter. Here are some of their responses:

Forum Responds

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One reader said, “Bravo to you for sticking to your guns. This is the best thing you can do for your daughter.”

Another Commenter Thinks

image credit: dean-drobot/shutterstock
image credit: dean-drobot/shutterstock

Another responder wrote: “Hold on to the hope that she will work out her angst and turn out to be a decent human being. I believe you’re doing the right thing.”

A Third View on The Story

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A different person states, “Your daughter needs to be able to apologize to her friend or ex-friend, whether that be in public or private, and actually mean it. Just going through the motions and saying the words doesn’t matter. She’ll just learn that if she puts on a show, she can get what she wants. She doesn’t actually have to mean it.”

A Final Perspective on the Matter

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Another viewpoint on the story: “Her immaturity, entitlement, and cruelty should not be rewarded. You’re the parents, so make it clear that in no uncertain terms will there be further parties if she refuses to apologize.”

What Do You Think?

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What are your thoughts on their actions?

What would you have done in this situation?

This story is inspired by a thread from an online forum.

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